The Silent Cancer

There is something silently running rampant through today’s society.  It is ruining marriages, destroying families, and weakening men. And not enough people are even talking about it let alone fighting against it.   This secret cancer of which I speak is porn.  

Pornography use in the world today is an epidemic.   Gone are the days where guys had to sneak into an adult theater or go behind the curtain at the video rental store.  You don’t have to steal your dad’s Playboy magazine anymore to get a glimpse. Hardcore pornography is accessible instantly, for free, from any device with an internet connection.  

A recent study showed that 68% of Christian men regularly view porn, including 50% of pastors.  The largest age group by consumption are minor males aged 11-17.  This is an epidemic destroying the fabric of American men. And we must fight back.  

I have battled with pornography addiction for almost my entire teenage and adult life.  And it didn’t stop there, it spiraled into a full on sex addiction and led to many sins that I am so ashamed to admit I hate even think about it.   I had tried for years to stop, to gain control, to turn my life around. I sought counseling. I prayed harder. I tried harder. Nothing worked. I couldn’t overcome it.  I was stuck in an endless cycle of addiction.  

Millions of men are fighting the same battle and they are losing.  Porn use is now just seen a “normal” thing that guys do. In fact, some “experts” are even saying it’s HEALTHY for men!  

Brothers, we cannot continue to sit silent while this cancer silently wreaks havoc on men.  I have seen what damage porn can do. It nearly destroyed my marriage. It almost broke up my family.  It leads to emotional, and psychological problems that the medical community is only beginning to understand.  It’s causing erectile dysfunction in teenagers! It’s affect on the brain is similar to that of hardcore drug users and has been shown to be equally as addictive. It is not “harmless”. 

It’s all based on a lie!  The lie is that porn is saying that YOU are having sex with that hot model.  Porn won’t reject you. Porn doesn’t care if you’ve put on a few pounds or are so socially awkward that you can’t even talk to a real woman.  It drives your further into isolation and further from reality. In many men, porn addiction, or any addiction, is covering up a wound that we just can’t deal with. 

The truth is that porn is sin.  It corrupts your mind, literally.   It is a gateway drug to other sinful behavior.  It is pure lust. The Bible tells us to FLEE from sexual immorality.  Not just turn it off. Not just turn a blind eye, but flee from it.  Run away.

Men around the world have found out the hard way that porn is a cancer and destroying their lives. They aren’t all from religious circles either. Movements like NoFap are gaining traction as well and ideas like semen retention.  

It’s time we fight back.  Through shame and guilt, this silent cancer has silently reaped wreckage upon men’s lives.  

Therefore, I’m asking men to join me in a challenge.  Live Porn Free. It won’t be easy. There’s a strong chance of falling short. But when men band together as brothers, when they seek God’s strength and forgiveness, anything is possible.   

I challenge YOU to join me in fighting back against the cancer of porn.  

PORN FREE 2020.  


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

My Story

The time must come in every man’s life where he looks himself in the mirror and decides to take charge.  For men in generations past, there was always a definitive moment for that to happen. They would go off to war, they would have to take on the responsibility of providing for their family at a young age or they would go through an initiation ritual to signify their passage from boyhood to manhood.  But today, many men are lost. Many of us have never had the need to face ourselves and man up. We can skate on by being weak and without purpose. We don’t have to go to war if we don’t want to. We can stay living at home with mom and dad as long as we want. And we no longer have the fraternal brotherhood of fellow men to push us toward what we’re capable of.  This has left us with many men who are still little boys well into adulthood.

But at some point, every man will have to shed the mask and face themselves.   My prayer is that moment has come for you. There’s a reason you’ve come to this page.  There’s a reason you’ve gotten to the point in your life that you’re willing to take action.  Maybe you feel like you’ve drifted away from God and you need to rededicate your life to him. Maybe you’ve let yourself get out of shape and you feel like you could lose a few pounds and gain some strength while you’re at it.  Maybe you feel like half your life is over and you’ve accomplished nothing. Maybe you’re not the husband you should be and are jerking off to porn instead of being a devoted lover to your wife. Maybe you’d rather throw back beers and watch football than spend time reading a book to your kids.  

I say all of this, because that was me.  My life in a nutshell was a phony Christian, cheating husband, absent father, fat and lazy lame excuse for a man.  

This is my story.

I grew up, almost literally, in the church.  My father was a pastor and I grew up under the spotlight of being a preacher’s kid.  I never had a relationship with Christ for myself. I was only a Christian (If I was even truly saved) because it was how I was raised.   I searched for meaning and purpose in life everywhere but through God. I sought fulfillment in music, sex, drugs, booze, and money. You name it, I tried it.  

I got married and had children, but I was still a rebellious teenager even into my 30’s.  .  I have battled pornography addiction almost my entire teenage and adult life.  And it didn’t stop there, it spiraled into a full-on sex addiction and led to many sins that I am so ashamed to admit I hate even thinking about it.   I disregarded time with my children to pursue my own selfish desires.  I had a secret life. I’d been caught a bunch of times, but it didn’t matter. I just got better at lying and better at not getting caught.

Even when I was home and present, I certainly wasn’t leading my household.  I ignored my wife and kids. I’d snap on them if they interrupted me or dared to “bother” me.  My wife and I were roommates at best. My kids only saw me for a few minutes a day and when they did I was grumpy or dismissive.  I was pounding back beers like it was going out of style. I ate and ate until I hated myself; because I did. I used every opportunity and resource at my disposal to mask what I truly was, a fraud and a loser.  I spent thousands of dollars to keep up the appearances of being a great Christian, husband, father, and businessman, going into a ton of credit card debt in the process. Everything I did was to cover up who I was and keep anyone from discovering the truth.  I self medicated my pain with sex, alcohol, and money.

I tried for years to stop, to gain control, to turn my life around. I knew what I was doing was self-destructive behavior, but I couldn’t stop.  I wanted freedom. I sought counseling. I prayed harder. I tried harder. Nothing worked.  The hole just got deeper and deeper and deeper.  I was stuck in an endless cycle of addiction.

Then, finally, something changed.  To make a long story short, I was finally exposed.  The lies came out. My true, secret life in the dark was brought to the light.  I was revealed as a fraud. I wasn’t the good husband and father that I looked like I was on Facebook and I wasn’t the devout spiritual Christian that I showed myself to be at church.  

I had to look myself in the mirror and confess who I truly was.   And I hated what I saw. I decided that I finally needed to fight back.   It wasn’t a Hollywood style “I’ve seen the light” moment or anything like that.  I didn’t instantly give up porn or go right to the gym and lose 30 pounds. My marriage didn’t just heal itself and I didn’t all of a sudden become an amazing man of God.  But it was the start of God making a change in my heart. I finally stopped searching for my fulfillment and purpose in this world, and looked to God to lead my life. I found that when I turned away from the things I used to mask my pain and sought God instead, I found the peace I was looking for.  When I opened up about who I truly was on the inside, God opened up pathways for healing. When I confessed my sins to my family, they forgave me.   

Change is not easy.  I kicked and screamed and fought God every step of the way in my journey.  But the moments when I truly committed to change, were when He showed his amazing power.   I used to be afraid of change. I felt safe in the routine. I was uneasy with the unknown. What if I failed? What if people discovered my secrets?  However, when I committed to change and didn’t give up, amazing things happened. When I started to read my Bible every day and spend time in prayer, I found hope, peace, and the purpose I was looking for.  When I stopped looking at porn and sleeping with nameless women, I saw how truly beautiful my wife was and how deeply I loved her. When I turned off the TV and put down the phone, I created memories with my children that will last forever.  When I stopped eating and drinking like a slob and hit the gym, I felt healthier, stronger, and had more energy. When I became a husband, father, and man worthy of being respected, I earned the respect I had previously tried to demand.  

But in order to become the man I wanted and needed to be, I had to go through an initiation.  I had to face my demons. I had to go through a period where I was challenged, and instead of bowing to my selfish desires, I had to conquer the forces trying to take me down.

In the Gospel of Luke, chapter 4, the Holy Spirit led Jesus “into the wilderness” to be tested for 40 days.  Jesus faced the temptations that all men face. He was fully God, but also fully man. He faced physical hardship.  He faced emotional hardship. And he faced spiritual hardship. Each time he stood firm with His foundation in the Scriptures and fought back against the devil who was trying to take Him down.  

I’m calling on men to go “Into The Wilderness”.  In order to transform our lives, we have to face our demons.  We have to challenge ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  My mission is to help men overcome sexual addiction and challenge them to transform their lives by renewing their faith, re-energizing their families, and restoring their masculinity. There will be physical challenges as we need to treat our bodies as a temple and keep them sharp and ready.  There will be emotional challenges and tough questions that you’ll have to answer. You may have to come to terms with some issues that you don’t really want to face. And there will be spiritual challenges.  We have to ensure that we are spending time in God’s Word and in prayer, or all of this is pointless.   

So I ask you, no, I challenge you, to come on this journey with me.  I’m certainly no guru or expert, and I need this challenge just as much as anyone else.  But I’m asking you to fight alongside me, to stand up against the forces of this modern world that are trying to keep men from becoming the true men of God they should be.  

I also offer one-on-one coaching if at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you. I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with sexual addiction shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your fight to be a better man.

Join me, brother, as we journey “Into The Wilderness” to become the providers, protectors, and pastors that God has called Christian men to be. 


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

Processing…
Success! You’re on the list.

I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

An Introduction

Into The Wilderness was founded to encourage men to live the lives God has called them to live. Our goal is to transform men’s lives by renewing their faith, re-energizing their families, and restoring their masculinity.

In the Gospel of Luke, chapter 4, the Holy Spirit led Jesus “into the wilderness” to be tested for 40 days. I’m calling on men of faith to put themselves to the test; to push themselves to be better men, better husbands, and better fathers. We need to go “into the wilderness” and come out stronger. We need to face our demons and conquer them. We need to face hardship and come out on top. We need to immerse ourselves in scripture and learn to apply it when we are tempted.

I want to strengthen the modern Christian man. I want men to renew and strengthen their faith by daily Scripture and prayer. I want men to re-energize their families by being the leaders we’re called to be. And I want men to restore their masculinity by fighting back against the powers of the world that want to diminish the Biblical role of men, husbands, and fathers.

I’m no expert.  I’m not a counselor, a pastor, or a therapist.  I’m just a man who went through the darkness and through the grace of God, came out into the light of His glory.  I lived a secret, sinful, and meaningless life for many years. Then, I took the lessons of Romans 12:2, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”   I had to fight back against the way the world wants me to live and transform myself into the person God wants me to be by changing the way I think.  Only then, did I find the meaning and purpose in life I so desperately sought through wordly means.  

So I challenge you to join me as we journey “Into The Wilderness” to become the providers, protectors, and pastors that God has called Christian men to be. 


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

Processing…
Success! You’re on the list.

I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.