Make Yourself Uncomfortable

How comfortable are you right now?

Are you lounging on the couch?  Lying in bed?  Sitting at your desk? I hope you aren’t driving while you read this.  

Ask yourself, when was the last time you were uncomfortable.  I don’t mean when was the last time that tag on your t-shirt bothered you.  I mean when were you last truly uncomfortable?  Try to think of a situation where you did something that pushed you out of your comfort zone either physically, emotionally, or spiritually.  

If you can’t remember, you’ve got some work to do brother.  

The goal of life is not to seek comfort.  

But you wouldn’t know that from how society acts today.   Everything being sold is to make you comfortable, make you feel better, or provide relief.  Want to buy something? It’ll be delivered overnight. Want to eat something? The doorbell will ring in half an hour.  Want to feel different? Here’s a pill.  

Not all these things are bad.  But when everything we do is purely to make life easier, we lose any determination to make progress.

Most men go through life wishing, dreaming, and hoping, but never get out of the damn chair long enough to make any of those things a reality!

When the goal is comfort, apathy is the result.

If you want to make progress, you cannot remain comfortable. 

In order to grow, you must step out of your comfort zone, take a leap of faith, and go toe to toe with what’s standing in your way.  

In order to lose weight, you have to start moving and sweating. You have to be physically uncomfortable.

If you want to grow spiritually, you have to trust God in faith; which usually makes us uncomfortable.

If you want to defeat an addiction, you’re going to have to deal with some uncomfortable issues in your life.

Ask any person who is successful in any area of their lives, they won’t tell you, “Yeah I just sat there and one day it happened.”  NO!  They’ll tell you about all the things they had to overcome in order to be successful.  They will tell you about the blood, the sweat, and the tears it took to get there.  

They had to push themselves through the discomfort to achieve the goals they sought after. 

One of the greatest Presidents and definitely the most badass President, Theodore Roosevelt,  expounded the virtues of seeking discomfort in a speech in 1899:

I wish to preach, not the doctrine of ignoble ease, but the doctrine of the strenuous life, the life of toil and effort, of labor and strife; to preach that highest form of success which comes, not to the man who desires mere easy peace, but to the man who does not shrink from danger, from hardship, or from bitter toil, and who out of these wins the splendid ultimate triumph.”

Triumph, victory, and fulfillment, comes not from seeking ease, but from overcoming adversity.  

If you want to have a breakthrough in your life, you have to BREAK-THROUGH. 

It takes breaking through an obstacle, overcoming a barrier to get to where you want to be.  You must have the courage to be uncomfortable; to face obstacles; to exorcise demons; to overcome setbacks.

So here is my challenge to you, my brothers…

Make Yourself Uncomfortable.

Push yourself past the pain.  Face whatever you’ve been unwilling to face.  Make the changes you’ve been scared to make.  

I never would have overcome my sexual addiction without being uncomfortable. 

I was perfectly comfortable where I was.  It was easy.  I knew what to expect.  But I was miserable.  I was going nowhere and was heading towards destruction.

It took some very uncomfortable moments in order to find freedom.  There were some extremely uncomfortable conversations with myself, my mentors, and especially my wife.  But that’s what it took to break through.  

So whatever it may be: porn addiction, sex addiction, career, weight loss, etc., make yourself uncomfortable. 

Progress is made through making yourself uncomfortable.


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Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

What To Do When Faced With A Trigger?

We’ve all been there.

You’ll be doing great in you’re battle with porn and sex addiction.  You’re not spending too much time on your phone or computer.  You’re keeping grounded in prayer, Scripture, and meditation.  You’re checking in regularly with your support system and accountability partner.

Them BAM! Something comes out of nowhere and all of sudden you’re on the verge of relapsing and throwing away all your great progress.

Your mind has gone right back into addiction mode.  It craves the porn.  It wants the release.  “Just one time won’t hurt. You deserve it.”

But your heart knows better.  You know it won’t be “just once”.  You don’t want to go back to your old ways. You want to keep building momentum in your battle.

What happened?  You were faced with a trigger.

So what do you do? 

Well first let’s identify some things.

What is a trigger?

According to Dr. Robert Weiss,  a leading expert on sexual addiction, a trigger is: 

“Any internal or external catalyst that creates a desire for you to look at pornography” 

Basically, if something causes you to want to look at porn or masturbate, it’s a trigger.  It could be anything really.  It could be a feeling, a visual image, or a situation you find yourself in.

Triggers can be both external and internal. 

External triggers can be: 

  • -Exposure to sexual images (TV, Movies, Magazines, Social Media) 
  • -Being alone without something to do 
  • -An argument with your spouse/girlfriend 
  • -Bad day at work 
  • -Financial stress 
  • -Any type of unexpected event (good or bad) 

Internal triggers can be: 

  • -Anger 
  • -Depression 
  • -Boredom 
  • -Stress 
  • -Loneliness 
  • -Anxiety

Some of my biggest internal triggers were anxiety, stress, and frustration. I would feel overwhelmed and would go to porn for relief. 

Being alone, work stress, and exposure to sexual images were external triggers that lead me down the path to acting out. 

Once you identify the triggers that cause you to seek out porn, you have to take steps to remove them from your life or minimize exposure to them.

But no matter how hard you try to avoid and remove triggers; you WILL still be exposed to them. There is no way to 100% avoid triggers. The enemy (Satan) will make sure of that.

How to respond to a trigger:

Here’s a great way to remember what to do when you’re faced with a trigger.  Remember the “Four R’s”

  1. Remove Yourself or the Trigger

Get the hell out of there! Remove yourself from the situation. Get as far away from the trigger as you can. Or Remove the trigger. Throw it away or turn it off. The Bible tells us to flee from sexual immorality. So, when faced with something that triggers you, get away from it!

  1. Reach Out To Your Support System

These are the moments that your support and accountability partner is there for. If you’re feeling anxious or depressed and starting to return to that cycle, call for help! Talk to someone who can walk you through what you’re feeling and support you. They can be there for you and lift you up when you’re feeling weak and susceptible.

  1. Reflect through Scripture and Prayer

Every time Jesus was tempted by the devil in the wilderness, He responded by quoting Scripture. When you are triggered, open your Bible and find strength. Even better, memorize particular verses and repeat them over and over when you’re tempted. Pray to God to give you strength and help you to avoid the temptation. Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble

  1. Re-Engage Your Mind

Instead of letting the trigger get a foothold in your mind, immediately re-engage your mind on something else.  Do something that requires focus and concentration.  Some great things to do are to read a book, exercise, work on something with your hands, or engage in conversation with someone.  That way your mind won’t dwell on the trigger and you can focus your thoughts on positive things.

You will be faced with triggers regularly.  In order to live porn free, you must have a plan to respond to them. 

Stay strong brothers.  Keep fighting.  NEVER GIVE UP.


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

Be A Chad

This past week, a very interesting comment on a PornHub video went viral throughout the NoFap community.  

It was a comment by someone with the unfortunate username of Chad Thundercock.  While I can’t really congratulate Chad on his selection of a screen name, his comment was excellent. 

PornHub does not screen its users.  Anyone at any age can go on PornHub and anyone with a debit/credit card can subscribe to their premium service.  They are even giving away their premium option during the quarantine. 

This has opened the door for so many young men to get addicted to porn.  Not long ago, you had to at least put some effort into accessing porn.  You either had to be 18 and buy it yourself, or find a stash of Playboys from someone.  Now any boy – and let’s be real, these are young boys – with an internet connection has access to an unlimited supply of porn.  

This is what I’m fighting against.  These kids are getting addicted to porn before they’ve even gone on a first date!

This young boy commented on some video bragging about how he has premium PornHub while being only 13 years old.

Thankfully, Chad took the time to impart some wisdom on this youngster.

“Take some advice from someone a bit older than you: get out while you can. Porn can and will ruin your perception of sexual intimacy and it’ll take you a long time to recover.  I personally have had problems getting it up with a girlfriend as a result of my porn addiction. Don’t be like me.”

Wow.  Chad really laid it out for this kid to see.  He’s seen the damage porn addiction can do and doesn’t want another young man to succumb to its grasp.  

We really need more Chad Thunderc**k’s in today’s world.  We need older men, men who know the dangers of porn addiction, to reach out to young boys, teenagers, and adolescents to warn them about what they’re getting into.  

Society won’t do that.  They’ll tell these kids porn is natural, healthy and everyone does it.  They tell kids it is how to learn to be good at having sex.  They lie and say it’s just for fun and no one gets hurt.

But you and I, we know the truth.  We know porn is destroying men.  It’s damaging their emotional and physical health, it’s wrecking families and marriages, and leads to depression, anxiety, erectile dysfunction, and a whole host of other problems.

I know being a “Chad” is a bad thing in the internet world.  But if you have the opportunity to be a “Chad” and warn a young man about the dangers of pornography, please do so.  It could change his life.

We need to fight back and stop the plague of porn addiction.  One man at a time.

Stay strong brothers.  Keep Fighting.  NEVER GIVE UP.


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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Success! You’re on the list.

I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

Beware Your Dark Side

If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand – Mark 3:24

Are you where you want to be in life?

How many of us reach the ages of 30, 40, or 50 and have accomplished even half of what we thought we would?

As children, we all imagine ourselves changing the world or being a pillar in our community when we grow up.  Remember your high school graduation when someone told you that you could change the world?

Instead, many of us stumble into the latter parts of our lives with health problems, broken relationships, an empty heart and shattered hope.

But dare we insult the magnificence of our Creator by assuming our limitations and sufferings are divinely imposed?

No, we cannot blame God. Our birthright is and always was abundance and glory…

“Bring all who claim me as their God, for I have made them for my glory. It was I who created them.” – Isaiah 43:7

Does suffering bring more glory than success? NO.

Can lacking reveal the infinite more than abundance? Impossible.

Clearly, limitations are not God-ordained.

But it seems as though–like Esau–we trade our birthright for stew.

Life Is A War:

The truth is life is a war between good and evil.

While it is true that we are at the crossroads of eternity, where forces beyond us may impose influence on us, the real war is “of our own household”.

“Your enemies will be right in your own household!” – Matthew 10:36

We are at war…

With ourselves.

It’s as if we have split personalities.

On one hand, we have “The Spirit of God”: Power, love, and sound mind. A knowingness that all of life’s riches belong to us as our divine inheritance. The ability to move mountains.

If this was all there was to it, Heaven would be all we would know…

But we also have this dark side that tears us down whenever things get going well.

Something tells me this side of your personality needs no explanation.

It is CRUCIAL for you to understand that this self-sabotaging side of your nature is the only thing that stands between you and becoming the man you want to be.

If you don’t control your dark side, your dark side will control you.

So, let’s talk about 4 key strategies for managing your dark side.

#1. Walk in the Light (Let God In)

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” – Romans 7:15

Darkness can feel perpetual. One minute you’re dipping your toe in the river and the next you are being swept away by raging currents.

One minute you’re looking at a provocative picture on Instagram, the next thing you know you’re back full blown into your pornography addiction.

One day you’re doing great on your diet, the next thing you know a single piece of birthday cake sends you right back into a cycle of gluttony.

We make a mistake and then we condemn ourselves. Additionally, the weight of our sin brings pain, and that pain pushes us toward an immediate relief in that which causes it.

Most importantly, we think that God abandons us in our sin. Shame takes hold, the mistakes are already made, and we feel that God already disapproves…

What’s one more time?

How can we possibly stop this cycle?…”The curse of sin”.

Instead of thinking that God abandons us in our sin, you need to know that God is loves us even when we sin.

He knows that’s when we need His strength…

Remember that:

“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” – Lamentations 3:22-23

Every day is a new chance. Every day the Lord washes you as white as snow.

No matter how far you’ve strayed, the Father always welcomes the Prodigal Son back with open arms and the fattened calf.

When you’ve drifted toward your darkside and can’t find your way back, call out to Jesus:

“Help me, oh Lord, My rock and my redeemer. Save me from my own destructive self. I know that you love me and have so much good in store for me. Heal my heart and my hurt and help me to receive my good! Amen.”

#2. Track Your Behavior

If you’re like me, the time you are most susceptible to your destructive nature is when things are going well. After all, he who can only steal, kill, and destroy will thrive when there is something to destroy.

When we are winning, our ego gets in the way. We forget how much we need God, and we think we can get away with a taste of the forbidden fruit.

When everything is going great, we forget the pain we had to endure.

The key to overcoming your dark side is to recognize your patterns of descent and have markers to warn you when you are getting into the danger zone.

One of the best ways to do this is to keep a journal.

By recording your patterns of behavior, you can see triggers that precede your mistakes. In doing this, you can get ahead of them and remind yourself that it’s never “just once”.

As I wrote in my free eBook, 10 STEPS TO LIVING PORN FREE:

I have found the longer I go without journaling the more likely I am to mess up. Journaling keeps me focused and attentive to triggers and other attacks that will cause me to falter. Journaling keeps my guard up. It keeps my goals and the tools I use to avoid temptation in the forefront of my mind.”

Journaling doesn’t have to be complicated…

Simply take a daily summary of what went wrong and what went well.

As you do this every day, you’ll see definite patterns emerge which you can use to understand yourself better and stop any potential destruction BEFORE it happens. You’ll also know what methods you used in the past with great success.

The simple decision to disengage before indulging in a vice can literally change the trajectory of your life.

#3. Do Good (Even When It Hurts)

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” -Romans 12:21

Temptation, by nature, is tempting. This is because sin is merely a perversion of our natural desires. Temptation triggers natural desires through unnatural means.

Knowing this, you can fill in the gap with the original substance…

For example, sex is natural and beautiful. Pornography perverts the purity of sex, although your primitive brain still thinks porn is sex. Hunger is a natural desire and food a necessity. But overindulgence in unnatural foods is not the divine design.

Therefore, whenever you attempt to remove a destructive behavior, you still need to replace the sense of reward to reach a point of satiation and satisfaction.

Whenever temptation arises, you have the free will to choose a natural outlet and fulfill the longing in a constructive way.

Instead of watching porn, be intimate with your wife. Instead of drinking alcohol, perform a workout.

Whatever sin is whispering in your ear, know that there is a natural way to get the reward without leaving destruction in your wake.

Once these cravings are naturally supplied, the need to satisfy them with sin evaporates.

“See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse” – Deuteronomy 11:26

#4. Find Accountability

No man is strong enough to fight a war on his own. To march into a battle alone would be foolish.

Whatever your war whether it’s pornography, alcohol, food, etc. – you need a brother to help you see it through to victory.

Your commitment fluctuates with your emotions and circumstances. Your accountability partner always maintains a non-emotional outlook and holds your end result as the top priority.

A good brother can see through the B.S. you tell yourself and try to tell others. He won’t let you falter or head down the wrong path.

We all need someone who will tell us what we need to hear instead of what we want to hear.

We need a brother who will check up on us and make sure we’re doing what we’re supposed to be doing.

The reason many of us put off getting accountability is because we aren’t sure that we are actually ready to leave our vices and sin behind.

You have to hate your sin more than you love the immediate pleasure it gives you.

But if you’re truly ready to change, find someone who can be a rock for you–a pillar of grace.

Don’t skip this step!

For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them — Matthew 18:20

I offer one-on-one coaching if you feel you need someone to come alongside and support you in your battle. I provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track. Contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live porn free.

Imagine a life where every day added to the one before…

No more tearing yourself down. No more recovering for days from careless mistakes. No more torment of guilt, shame, and the feeling of being disconnected from God’s love.

This is not only possible, but it is entirely within reach.

Whenever you feel like you are losing control of your thoughts and actions, implement these four strategies.

You’ll be amazed what you can accomplish when all of your actions lead to Life!

All you have to do is walk in the light and beware the dark side. 

But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.– 1 John 1:7


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

Processing…
Success! You’re on the list.

I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

The Spirit Is Willing, But The Flesh Is Weak

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” – Matthew 26:41

Ever been in the situation where you know what the right thing is to do, yet you’re pulled to do the opposite?

On the night he was betrayed, Jesus and his disciples were in the Garden of Gethsemane after the Last Supper.  Jesus went off alone to pray. He was overcome with grief knowing what He had to go through in the next few hours.  

He asked the disciples to keep watch, but they fell asleep.  When He came back He chastised them and warned them to keep watch and pray so they would not give in to temptation.

He then spoke one of the most relatable phrases He spoke in all of the Gospels, “For the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

He knew what pain and suffering He was going to go through.  He knew in His heart and in His spirit that He had to follow God’s will.  Yet, being fully human, He was distressed over what was going to happen.  

His heart knew what He had to do, but His body was weak.

I couldn’t tell you how many times throughout my years of addiction where I felt the exact same way.  

I knew what I needed to do.  I wanted to do the right thing.  But I continued doing what I knew was wrong.  I tried to quit, I wanted to quit, but I inevitably did the wrong thing. 

There were so many times where I had an internal battle with myself whether or not to look at porn.  My heart knew I shouldn’t do it, but my body craved it. Far too often, my flesh won out.

The Apostle Paul felt the same way about sin.  He expressed his frustration with himself in his letter to the Romans in chapter 7, verses 14-25: 

14The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

Like Jesus, Paul knew what was the right thing to do, but his flesh was weak. He constantly did what was wrong even though he wanted to do the right thing.

The reason our flesh is weak is because we are enslaved to our sin. Sin lives within us. We are sinful by nature. Given the choice, our flesh will choose sin every time. We have the law to know right from wrong, but because sin lives within us, we will never be able to live up to that standard. That is why we needed Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. He took those sins and paid the punishment for them on our behalf. He’s the only one never to give in to the flesh.

The sin living within us is why we can’t break free from addiction.  It’s why although we know it’s wrong and we try so hard not to do it, we still do it anyway.  Like Paul said, it makes us “slaves” to sin. We are held captive by our sin.  

We can’t break free on our own.  Trying harder won’t do it. Thankfully, Paul gives us the answer to freedom in verse 25, “Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Only through Christ can we find freedom.  Only through His grace can we find healing.  Only through His forgiveness can we find redemption.

As Jesus told the disciples, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation”.  You have to stay alert.  Those temptations will sneak up on you.  Undoubtedly, the time will come again where you will be faced with a situation where your “spirit is willing but your flesh is weak.” Your flesh will want to look at porn, masturbate, or engage in some sinful activity that you know is wrong.   

Without the strength of God, your flesh will win.  But if you rely on Him for your strength, if you trust in Him to guide you through, you can overcome the temptation.  


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

Processing…
Success! You’re on the list.

I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

H.O.P.E.

There’s an old proverb that says,

“A man can live about three weeks without food, three days without water, three minutes without air, but he cannot live three seconds without hope.” 

Why is hope so important?

Hope gives us something to live for.  It gives us a purpose. It lets us know that there is a future.  Hope tells us things will get better. It lets us know that there’s a chance.  We can endure terrible things in life if we know there is hope.  

Yet sometimes in all the craziness of this world, in the stresses of life, and during a worldwide pandemic, it can be hard to find hope.

Often in our battles with sexual addiction, it feels like there’s no hope. It may seem like we’ll never defeat this enemy.  You may feel like you’ll never be free. You may think you’re unforgivable, unredeemable, and deserve whatever punishment comes your way.

But if you hold on to hope, that’s all you need to find freedom.

Hope keeps us going when we feel like everything is crumbling down around us.   It provides comfort to those in pain. It provides purpose when we wonder why bad things happen to us.

“Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.” – G.K. Chesterton

We can have the ultimate hope. The hope of eternal life.

By the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we are set free from sin.  His Resurrection gives eternal hope. No matter what terrible things we’ve done in our lives, no matter how badly we were addicted, all those stains are washed away.  

Instead of being condemned, we are pardoned.  Instead of receiving damnation for our sins, we get to spend eternity with Christ.

What a great hope that is!

Without that hope, there is nothing. There’s no future.  There’s no chance at redemption. There’s nothing to live for.  

I’d rather die holding on to hope, than live with nothing to hope for

Dante, in his acclaimed work, Inferno, describes a sign at the gates of hell saying “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”   Because where there is no God, there is no hope.    God is hope.    He gives hope to us.    

Hope is abandoned at the gates of hell.  It is fulfilled at the gates of heaven.  When we die, it isn’t an end, but a gateway; a threshold to eternal life.   It is the finish line at the end of the race that we have finished victoriously.  We do not fear, because we have hope.

There’s an acronym for H.O.P.E. that reads, “Hold On, Pain Ends.”   

I love that.  If we can just hold on, our pain will end.  If we can persevere, our bondage will end. If we keep the faith, we will be rewarded.  If we have hope, all the darkness of this world will one day be over.

Though sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5

What we’re going through now is temporary.  The hope we have is eternal.  

All this hope is because Jesus walked out of the tomb that Sunday morning.

Don’t put your hope in people.  Don’t put your hope in the government.   Don’t put your hope in physical things. Don’t put your hope in ideas.

Put your hope in the One who died so that you might live, and rose again to give you the hope of eternal life. 

Your hope for redemption is in Him!  Your hope for breaking free from sexual addiction is in Him!   Your hope for forgiveness is in Him! Your hope for eternal life is in HIM!

If you’re struggling, remember this hope.  When darkness seems to surround you, remember this hope.  When temptation seems overwhelming, remember this hope. 

All you need is hope.


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Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

Finding Solitude

Sometimes, you just need to be alone.

We all need time by ourselves to relax, to clear our mind and process our thoughts.

Dealing with the daily hustle and bustle of life can make your mind feel overwhelmed and exhausted.  You might be dealing with stress from work or with the ups and downs of parenting. All these things lead to brain fog and anxiety which in turn can lead you to act out in unhealthy ways.  

I know I was always much more likely to act on my sexual addiction when I was overwhelmed and felt like my brain was going to explode.

We need to find solitude.

We should take the time, each day if possible, to spend some time alone in a quiet place. 

A perfect example to follow is Jesus.

The Bible recounts many times where Jesus “went away by himself”. Even the Son of God needed time away from the disciples and the crowds to clear His mind and pray. 

He spent a whole night alone praying in Luke 6 before choosing his disciples.  In Matthew 14, He went away to grieve after learning of the death of John the Baptist. Prior to his arrest, He went alone to pray in the Garden of Gethsemane.  Luke 5:16 tells us that he often “withdrew to lonely places and prayed

Having time alone without any noise or distractions has become rare in modern society.  Even in the car we almost always have the radio on. When working out or jogging there’s usually music or a podcast blaring in our ears.  The TV is on the in the background while doing household chores. Rarely do we ever just sit in silence.  

Yet, finding solitude is one of the best habits you can develop.  I know it may be hard with kids in the house and a busy schedule, but the benefits of finding that time are incredible.  Now that we all have some extra time during the quarantine, it’s a great opportunity to develop new habits. Make finding solitude a priority.  

I have worked my time of solitude into my nightly routine.  Before going into my solitude, I do whatever I need to on my phone/computer first.  I set an alarm, answer any messages, etc. Because after my time of solitude, I do not look at my phone again until morning.  Once my mind is clear, I keep it clear.

This is a perfect time to do your daily Bible reading, Prayer, Meditation, and Journaling.

Jesus told us during His Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6:6, “When you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private.”

The picture above is the space I created a few years ago for my quiet time.  Some people call it a “prayer closet”; a concept made famous by the movie War Room.  I converted a small walk-in closet into a small place I can go away and be alone.  It’s in the basement so it’s quiet. There’s nothing in there besides a chair, a small table, my bible, my journal, and a cross I hung on the wall.  There are no distractions. It’s my quiet place.

Once I’m settled in, here is my routine.

-A few minutes of deep diaphragmatic breathing exercises

-Read the passage of Scripture I’m currently going through

-Write my thoughts out in my journal

-Prayer

I’m usually in there no more than ten to fifteen minutes.  It doesn’t need to be a long time. But just enough time to decompress and talk with God. Establishing this routine has worked wonders in my life.  I sleep much better. I’m more relaxed. I’m not consuming all that blue light from my phone before bed. And I spend quality time with God.  

As I was often tempted to act out late at night, this routine has taken away that opportunity for temptation to sneak in.  But you can take your time in solitude whenever it works for you. Some people do it in the morning and enjoy starting their day with quiet time.  Others do it whenever they have a few free minutes. The time of day doesn’t really matter, what matters is you’re finding time to get away, get alone, and find solitude.

We all need to get away from the noise, turn off the distractions, spend time with God, and clear our mind.  The best way is to find solitude.


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

We Need A Mr. Rogers

My family and I enjoy at-home movie nights.  We all get a big bowl of ice cream and settle into the living room for a great time together.

The other night, we decided to watch the Mr. Rogers biopic, A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood.  It was an excellent movie detailing a great man and how he helped a journalist deal with his feelings and reunite his family.

I’m old enough to remember watching Mr. Rogers as a kid.  It’s hard to believe he’s been off the air for twenty years.  

But the movie got me to thinking about how much the children of today are missing someone like Mr. Rogers.  He was unafraid to talk about tough issues.

He would discuss troubling events in the news with children and talk about how they felt about them.  He talked about anger, divorce, gun violence, bullying, natural disasters, and war. He would even discuss the most taboo topic of all, death.  He would explain what was happening to the children in an honest manner and taught them how to process the feelings they were having then gave them healthy ways to deal with them.

Too often today we try to shield our children from the bad things of the world.  While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing – we want to protect our children – we are putting them at a disadvantage.  

Because they are never taught how to deal with those emotions at a young age, when they inevitably experience them as adults, they have no idea how to handle them.  

They then develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with those negative emotions.

Porn addiction is a perfect example of this.  So many men weren’t taught to deal with negative emotions as children, then when they entered their teen years, they discovered they could mask those dark feelings with sex and porn.  Then they got hooked.

Eddie Capparucci, in his excellent book on how childhood emotions affect sexual addiction, Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction, writes:

We use sex as a self-soothing tool that produces an adrenaline rush powerful enough to block out troubling emotional distresses.

Not being able to deal with our emotions and feelings can lead to developing other unhealthy habits to cope besides porn addiction: alcoholism, drug addiction, and compulsive eating.  I believe this lack of guidance on how to cope with negative emotions is a cause of the major increase in depression and anxiety we’ve seen among the younger generations.  

We need a new Mr. Rogers.  We need someone brave enough to talk to kids about the tough issues.  We need parents willing to allow their children to feel negative emotions and teach them how to deal with them.  We’re not doing them any favors by shielding them.

Be a Mr. Rogers to your kids.  Talk with them about the COVID-19 crisis honestly and discuss the feelings they’re having about it.  Their lives have been upended by this virus too. Make sure they know how to cope with those feelings and have a safe place to discuss them.

If you never learned healthy ways to manage your emotions as a child, find a Mr. Rogers now.  Seek help. Find someone, a friend, a pastor, a counselor, or a coach to help you deal with the deep-seated emotions you’re carrying.  Otherwise, they’ll manifest themselves in negative ways.

We could all use a Mr. Rogers right now. 


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

Timothy Reigle Coaching

We all need a little help sometimes. 

Overcoming addiction to pornography and sex is not something you will be able to do on your own.  You cannot just “man up” and quit.  Trust me, I tried.

You need the strength and grace of God to with this battle.

You also need warriors to fight alongside you.

I would not be where I am today if I didn’t have brothers who supported me, encouraged me, and kept me accountable.  And without them now, I’d be much more likely to relapse.

In Chapter 3 of my eBook, 10 Steps To Living Porn Free, I discuss the importance of having a support system in place to help you in this battle. 

If you feel overwhelmed by your addiction and need guidance and support, I’m now offering one-on-one coaching.

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and encourage you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a video call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  We’ll work together to find the root cause of the problem and create ways to avoid triggers and relapse.

I’ve already helped dozens of men battle their addictions; all who thought they were helpless. 

I know it’s hard to open yourself up and expose your deep secrets to another man. But you cannot fight this battle alone. You need help. You need support. You need accountability.

I’m willing to be that person for you. 

If one-on-one coaching could help you in your battle with pornography addiction, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.   You can contact me through the blog here, by email at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter.

Don’t fight this battle alone. 


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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TIME

We all wish we had more time.  

Time to ourselves.  Time to relax. Time to engage in our hobbies.  Time to do whatever we want to do.

Well, now we have it.

Because of the quarantine, many of us are locked down in our own home with nothing but a ton of extra time and nowhere to go.

So are most people using it to do all those things they wish they had time to do before?

Nope.   They’re using it to binge-watch Netflix.  

This Coronavirus crisis, as bad as it is, is an opportunity.   Don’t waste it.

Always wanted to lose a few pounds?  Start working out at home. There’s a TON of free at-home workouts online right now.

Want to learn a new skill?  Youtube still works. Get on there and learn something.

Need to find additional sources of income?  Get to work on your side hustle, writing that book you always said you’d write, or start selling online.  

-Play board games with your kids.

-Read some of those books gathering dust on your shelf.

-FaceTime with someone you haven’t seen in a while.

-Make a Corona baby.  (Seriously, there’s going to be a huge baby boom come December!)

-Go outside and play ball in the yard.

-Read your Bible.

Most people will waste this time, however long it may be, on self-indulgent, instantly gratifying activities.  

Don’t you be one of them.

May this also be a reminder of how little time we have here on Earth.  Thousands have already died and many more will in the ensuing weeks.

Reflect on your life and the time you have left.  Are there changes you need to make? Are there people you need to make peace with? Do you need to get right with God?

Do it now, extra time is promised to no one.

Take advantage of this time you’ve received.

This is the best opportunity you’ve been given, maybe ever, to improve yourself and your family.  

Time is a nonrenewable resource.  It is an ever diminishing asset.

Spend it wisely.


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

Processing…
Success! You’re on the list.

I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.