Can My Marriage Be Saved After Porn?

Porn Addiction has devastating effects.  

It destroys health, families, careers, and marriages.

But it doesn’t have to.

If you or your spouse has battled porn, you may ask, “Can my marriage be saved after porn addiction?

YES!

I’m living proof. My addiction to porn and sex almost destroyed my marriage. I was unfaithful to my wife (literally and figuratively) more times that I wish to count.  I broke my marriage vows many times.  

Yet, even after all the heartache, the lies, the relapses, and the betrayal, we found healing in our marriage.  We even renewed our marriage vows on our tenth wedding anniversary! 

I understand not every marriage will survive what we came through.  Sometimes the damage is too great to overcome.  But I do believe that it is possible to not only save your marriage, but renew your commitment and even thrive after overcoming porn and sex addiction.  

Fixing my marriage took a lot of hard work on my part.  I had to dedicate myself to recovery, be completely open and honest, and confess ALL the things I had done.

But my wife also had some work to do as well.  She had to forgive me (a whole lot easier said than done,) work through the grief and heartache, then be able to help me in my journey to freedom.

If you want to restore your marriage after porn addiction, there are some things both spouses must understand. 

1. Porn Addiction Has Nothing To Do With Sex

That statement seems crazy, I know.  But it’s true.  It is often very hard for wives to understand porn addiction.  Many women blame themselves.  They think if only they were skinnier, or prettier, or had bigger breasts, then their husband wouldn’t look at porn. 

But men don’t get addicted to porn just because they have an insatiable sexual appetite.  They’re not just hornier than normal.  Porn addiction is a drug addiction.  Men get addicted to the dopamine rush they get from watching porn.  Their brain demands more and more to get the same “high”.  It works just like any other drug or alcohol addiction.  Porn is simply the drug of choice.

Porn use becomes about seeking release from stress, avoiding emotions, and failure to cope with pain.  Men use porn as an “escape”.  They never learned to deal with negative emotions in a healthy way, and instead learned they could make all the problems go away for a while by watching porn and masturbating.  They then get hooked on the dopamine.  

There is some sort of pain in the man’s life that he’s just not able to cope with.  It could be something major like abuse, divorce, or grief.  It could be something that hides beneath the surface like fear of failure, rejection, or not feeling good enough.   Now, when something triggers him, those emotions come forward and the only way he knows how to handle them is to run to porn to escape.  

Once both the husband and wife are able to understand that the man is addicted to porn because he doesn’t know how to deal with pain in his life, not because she isn’t pretty enough, it opens the door to healing for both of them.

2. Encourage Not Punish

If a marriage is to be restored after porn addiction, there must be an atmosphere of encouragement and not punishment.  The man needs to be given positive encouragement and support if he is to stay sober from his addiction.

Now, before you jump all over me, I’m not saying there shouldn’t be consequences for the actions and decisions that he has made.   But for healing and restoration to take place, there must be forgiveness.

A man needs his wife to help him overcome the addiction.  If he’s going to face his demons and address the deep seated issues that caused his addiction in the first place, he’s going to need love and support.  He’s going to need his wife to encourage him when he’s feeling low and push him to keep fighting.  

A marriage cannot be restored if a wife chooses to continually punish her husband for his addiction. 

3. You Should Have Sex

Having sex with someone who has hurt you by watching other people have sex,or actually having sex with other people is probably the last thing that a wife wants to do.  And there may be a time period where there is too much pain for there to be sexual intimacy. However, having sex is one of the best things a couple who is trying to heal can do. 

Nothing bonds a married couple together like sex.  Having regular sex brings a couple closer together.  It unites them in the intimacy that God intended marriage to be. Husbands and wives need to be intimate to be healthy.

A wife should never withhold sex for any significant amount of time as punishment for the man’s addiction.  This helps no one.  

In fact, Scripture says that married couples are NOT to withhold sex from each other.

1 Corinthians 7:5

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Husbands and wives are supposed to have regular sex.  It is how marriage was designed.  Read through the Song of Solomon.  Its description of the man and woman’s intimate relationship reads like a kinky romance novel.

If a couple is going to heal, they need to have regular sex.  Sex alone won’t save a broken marriage, but it sure as hell won’t hurt it either.

4. There Must Be Communication

One of the main reasons many men get addicted to porn is because they don’t know how to express or cope with their emotions.  So they bottle them up until they eventually boil over and act out through porn and sex for escape and relief.  

A husband and wife must learn to communicate properly.  A man must learn healthy ways to communicate and process the wounds in his life that are causing his addiction.  The wife must be willing to express her hurt and also work through the process of forgiveness.

There are three types of communication that must take place:  Husband to Man, Wife to Woman, and Husband to Wife.  

In my book, Living Porn Free: 10 Steps To Recovery, Redemption and Renewal, I discuss the importance of every man having a “Nathan” to be his support partner on his journey to recovery from porn addiction.  Only another man can guide a man and keep him accountable.

In the same way, every wife who has been betrayed needs someone she can go to in order to express her feelings, work through the pain, and rebuild.  

Lastly, the husband and wife need to communicate together.  They must be able to properly express their feelings, desires, and emotions to each other in a healthy way without fighting and discord.

A marriage that doesn’t communicate, is a marriage that will never heal.


It may at first seem impossible for a marriage to be healed and restored after a betrayal. But it IS possible.  

Too often, people think divorce is the only option after a betrayal.  But that’s simply not true.  Marriages can be healed.  My marriage is a perfect example.  

Yes, Jesus listed adultery as an allowable justification for divorce in his sermon on the mount, but that doesn’t mean that the marriage must automatically be thrown away because adultery has occurred. 

God intended marriage to be for life.  Even if he allows divorce in certain circumstances, that doesn’t mean every attempt shouldn’t be made to repair and save the marriage.  

Fight for your marriage just as hard and you fight for your freedom from addiction.  

In fact, fight together.  My wife joined me on my journey to freedom.  I don’t know that I would have ever defeated my addiction without my wife’s support.  Fighting that battle together as one brought us closer to one other.  We grew, healed, and renewed our lives together.

So if you or your spouse is battling porn addiction, don’t give up.  You can heal. You can restore your marriage.  You can live in happiness and in love.  

Marriage CAN be saved after porn addiction.


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Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

NOW AVAILABLE! Living Porn Free: 10 Steps to Recovery, Redemption, and Renewal

It has never been easy for me to open up about my battle with pornography addiction. I hid it for years and was ashamed to let anyone know what was going on in my secret life.

However, God had different plans for me. I was hesitant, but every time I obeyed and shared my story, He found a way to bless it. Opportunities arose to mentor young men fighting porn addiction. Many others were inspired to share their own stories.

Since I started this blog and began posting on Twitter, I have been messaged by hundreds, maybe even thousands of men looking for help in their own battle with pornography addiction.

I’ve prayed with, encouraged, and given advice to these men.  I have personally coached dozens of men in one-on-one sessions, helping them to fight the battle against porn addiction.  Many of them have now found the same freedom that I enjoy.  

Along the way, I discovered that there was a need for a guide for these men.  There are many, many great books, courses, and other resources on defeating porn addiction.  In some ways, there are too many.  It can be overwhelming.  Many men told me they had no idea where to begin or what to do to get started.

So I decided to create what I call a “How-To, How-To Quit Porn” guide.  It is a place to start.  It’s a simple step-by-step guide on how to stop the bleeding, learn about the addiction, and create a plan to fight back.  

I am proud and honored to release my book, Living Porn Free: 10 Steps To Recovery, Redemption, and Renewal. 

You can purchase your copy on Amazon right now here.

This book contains the methods and tools I used to finally overcome my addiction, find healing, and live a life without porn.  I also included insightful questions, journaling suggestions, and thought exercises to help you to dig deeper inside yourself to discover what is truly causing your porn addiction and how to overcome it.

This book is not a cure-all to porn addiction. It’s not a self-help “follow these ten steps to health, wealth, and happiness” style book. It is simply a plan to get started.

In addition to the book, I am also releasing a companion video course where I will personally walk you through each step of Living Porn Free.  Through 13 videos, I will share my story of addiction and recovery, examples of what worked and didn’t work for me, and how I finally found freedom.  

There is also an option that includes a one-hour coaching session with me.  We can talk one-on-one to work through what is keeping you bound to addiction and I will create a personalized battle plan to get you started on the path to freedom.

You can pre-order this special course right here.  It will be officially released on October 20th.  

As a special thank you for supporting my mission, I’m offering the video course at HALF-OFF for the first 25 people who pre-order.  So make sure you get yours today!

If you’re battling porn addiction, I pray you are at the point where I was when I realized I had to make a change. You’ve finally gotten honest with yourself and decided you have to fight back. You may not know where to begin. It may seem overwhelming. You’ve tried before but always relapsed after a short time.

This book and video course is a place to start. It’s a guide that starts you on the path to finding freedom, forgiveness, and healing. 

You can do it. It will be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life. But by the grace and forgiveness of God, and with the tools I will teach you in this book, you can LIVE PORN FREE.

Order LIVING PORN FREE: 10 Steps To Recovery, Redemption, and Renewal by clicking on the image below:


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

Are You a Man, or a Man-Child?

In today’s world, it seems like there are fewer and fewer true men and more and more man-children.

What do I mean by a man-child?

A man-child is someone who is an adult by age, but not in maturity.  He could be 25, 30, or even 40 years old.  He could be married, have children, and a career.  None of this means he is a man.

He constantly complains about his status in life but does nothing to improve it.  He blames everyone else for all his problems and takes zero responsibility for his actions.  He’s much more likely to watch porn and play video games than read a book or create something new.  He whines and complains whenever something doesn’t go his way.

His wife “wears the pants”.  He needs her to plan his schedule.  She picks out his clothes and he always has to “check with the boss” before planning anything with his friends.  He complains she never has sex with him but he’s let himself go and gained 40 pounds.  He can’t go up a flight of stairs without breathing heavily.  He’s not the man of the household, he’s another child for her to take care of. 

He’s not a leader.   His wife doesn’t respect him.  His words mean nothing to his children because he doesn’t live them out himself.  The only version his children ever see of him is when he’s “tired” or needs to “relax”.  Instead of spending quality time with them on the weekends, he bounces around craft breweries while talking to all his buddies about his fantasy football team.  

He’s in a job he hates.  He constantly complains about his boss and blames him for the situation he’s in.  He’s thousands in credit card debt from trying to live a lifestyle he can’t afford so he can present a picture of himself to the world that makes him feel like he’s accomplished something. Whenever he does something any normal grown-up would do, he posts a picture of it on social media with the caption, “adulting”.

He is depressed, anxious, and lashes out at his family for no reason.  He jerks off to porn daily just to escape from the overwhelming pressure of a life he hates.  He tips girls on OnlyFans to make himself feel like someone actually wants him.  

Does this sound like a man?

No.  He’s a man-child.

Might this man describe you? 

It sure used to describe me.  I was fat, lazy, depressed, addicted to porn, and certainly was not a leader.  

Unfortunately, this describes far too many men today.  You can blame society, feminism, or a whole number of things for it, but that just continues the problem.   

Ultimately the responsibility to grow from a man-child to a man lies with you.  

In order to turn my life around, defeat addiction, and become the man I should be, I had to be honest with myself.   I needed to stop blaming everyone else for the situation I was in and accept personal responsibility.  The consequences of my actions were mine to bear.  My life was in shambles and it was MY fault.  No one else’s.

Blame for your failures rests solely on you, but so does the power to fix it. 

Once you take responsibility for your lot in life, you realize you also have the ability to change your life.  

This is when you grow into a man instead of a man-child.

A man doesn’t complain because if something is not right in his life, it’s his fault and his responsibility to fix it.  He takes ownership of his failures and accepts the consequences of poor decisions.  He is regularly trying to learn from his past and create a better life.  Learning new skills and creating better habits have become a normal part of his life.  He reads books instead of wasting time on Netflix and social media.   He keeps fit and eats healthy and expects his family to do so as well.

He is the leader of his family.  He is the pastor of his family.  His wife and children follow his lead because he lives out the same values he expects of them.  His wife doesn’t nitpick him or baby him because she respects him.  She humbly submits to him and his plan because she trusts in him.  She can’t keep her hands off of him because he allows her to embrace her femininity instead of having to lead the family for him.

His children respect and obey him.  He doesn’t expect anything of them that he wouldn’t expect of himself.  He spends quality time with them, teaching them his values instead of letting the internet teach them.  

He’s financially secure.  He lives below his means and avoids debt.  He’s building a life and career that is not beholden to a corporate entity.  Money is used to make more money and buy freedom and security, not to buy more stuff.  

He got help for his emotional issues.  Instead of running from the pain in his life he embraced it and overcame it.  He broke the bonds of sexual addiction by recognizing and treating the wounds it was covering up instead of self-medicating them with porn.

This man is living the Biblical disciplines of a Godly man.  As the Apostle Paul instructed the Corinthian men to be in 1 Corinthians 16:13-14, he is on guard, firm in his faith, strong, courageous, and loving.  He acts like a MAN.

This is what the world needs men to be.  Far too many men are stuck in perpetual childhood and never grow up. 

We need leaders, not followers.  We need men to take responsibility, not deflect blame.  We need men who keep their minds and bodies strong, not destroy them with simple pleasures.  We need fathers and husbands, not another kid in a man’s body.  We need teachers, fighters, protectors, pastors, and creators.  We need MEN.

So I challenge you brothers, as I challenge myself, be a man, not a man-child.


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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Success! You're on the list.

I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

Why Is Porn Dangerous?

My mission is to help men fight and defeat porn and sex addiction.  As you might imagine, this opens me up to a lot of comments from people, especially on Twitter.

One of the most common responses I get is, “What’s wrong with porn?  It doesn’t hurt anyone.”

Does it?

If you have struggled at all with porn, you know that’s a lie.  Porn hurts a lot of people.  It hurts yourself, your spouse, and your family.   It hurts your relationships and your happiness.  It hurts your health and emotional well-being.  

So, why is porn so dangerous?  What is it about porn addiction that makes it so devastating?

Porn can be hidden

You can hide a porn and sex addiction for years, even decades. We hear all the time of people who have had their secret sex life exposed.  Darkness and addiction can be lurking in the shadows of anyone’s life. 

This is what makes porn addiction so different from other addictions like drugs and alcohol.  Sure, you can hide those addictions for a while, but eventually, they will take a physical toll on your body that you cannot hide.  You can’t look at someone and tell if they’re battling a secret addiction with porn and sex. 

Porn is dangerous because it can remain secret while it slowly destroys you.

Porn causes an escalation of behavior.

Porn is a gateway drug.  Your brain requires more and more to get the same dopamine hit that you’ve created a dependence on.  The difference is, unlike other addictions, you don’t just crave more porn, you crave new and different porn.  You don’t just watch the same video over and over, do you?  No. You’re constantly looking for a new scene, a new girl, a new twist to up the dopamine dose.   

This is how behavior escalates.  Eventually, porn itself isn’t enough and you go to chatrooms or webcam sites.  Then that isn’t enough and you start hooking up with people from Craigslist or Tinder.  Then before you know it, you’re at a sex club or meeting up with a prostitute.  

Porn is dangerous because it creates a desire to do things you once thought reprehensible.

Porn damages your body.

Porn not only can remain secret and can escalate, but it can also do damage to your physical body as well.  Many men are experiencing erectile dysfunction at ages where they should be at their peak vitality.  

Have you noticed more and more advertisements for ED products lately?  Have you noticed how commercials from companies like Roman are marketed?  They’re not marketing to the old men like the Viagra commercials of the past.  They’re marketing to young men.  Men in their 20’s and 30’s.  ED is becoming a huge problem among younger men and it’s because so many young men are addicted to porn.

Porn is also dangerous because unlike other addictions where you ingest or inject the drug into your body, you create the drug yourself.  Dopamine is a naturally occurring hormone that you produce yourself in your brain.  You don’t have to go out and buy it.  You don’t have to steal to get money to get your fix.  It’s right there whenever you need it.  All you have to do is find a way to get a quick dose of it.  

No, you can’t overdose on porn like you can on other drugs.  But that doesn’t mean it can’t destroy you and everything you hold dear.  

Porn damages your soul

Porn may seem like something that’s just quick fun or a release of tension.  But it’s destroying you from the inside out.  The shame cycle it causes leads to depression, anxiety, and can even lead to suicidal thoughts. 

Porn is advertised as a distraction; a quick escape.  But it actually makes the problem you’re trying to escape from worse.  You might look at porn to escape depression, and sure, you do feel good for a short time.  But afterward, you’re right back where you started.  

I’ve worked with so many men who are totally broken by their addiction.  They’ve lost all hope in life.  They lose all drive, ambition, and motivation.  I often use the terms “in chains” and “bondage” to describe porn addiction.  Why?  Because that’s how it feels when you’re addicted to it.  It feels like you’re imprisoned in your own mind.   

All addictions work the same.  They are a destructive behavior you engage in to hide from or escape something that you are unable to cope with or face.  Something happened in your life that was emotionally traumatic to you.  Maybe it was something major like abuse, neglect, or physical trauma.  Or it could be something hiding below the surface like depression, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, or loneliness.   

You use your drug of choice to escape from facing those fears or coping with that trauma.  Whenever you face something in life that causes you to feel those emotions or be reminded of that trauma, you run to your addiction for relief.  But that relief is fleeting and you’re left constantly looking for more while slowly destroying your life from the inside out.

Porn does nothing to solve your emotional problems while at the same time compounds them.  

Porn promises relief and escape but only provides more pain and bondage. 

Porn is not victimless.  People get hurt.  You get hurt physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  Your family gets hurt by your lies and destructive behavior.  

Porn is dangerous.  It should not be treated lightly.  

If you need help, get it now.  

I offer one-on-one coaching for men fighting porn addiction.  We work together to find the root cause of the problem, create a plan to fight back, and establish accountability to keep you on track.  If you feel like one-on-one coaching can help you, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me here or on Twitter.

Porn is dangerous.  But as men, we can fight back and defeat its devastating hold on our lives.


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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Success! You're on the list.

I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

How To Avoid Addiction Substitution

If you’ve followed my writings for any length of time, you know how often I warn of the dangers of porn addiction.

Porn is a cancer that is destroying men from the inside out.  I’ve dedicated my ministry to using my story of addiction and recovery to help other men find freedom from the bondage of sexual addiction.

But you cannot become too narrow-focused.  

While you’re focusing on battling your porn addiction, some other addiction or vice can jump up and bite you when you least expect it,

Be careful not to replace one addiction with another.

Too often, men fight back against porn addiction and find success, only to create another addiction somewhere else in their lives.  This process is called addiction substitution.  It’s very common in recovery.  It’s replacing one addiction with another addiction.  All it does is change the symptom instead of solving the root problem. 

Here are some things you should beware of that can become a “replacement” for your porn addiction:

Work

Men often become workaholics in an effort to keep their mind occupied and stay busy.  While this might help to avoid temptations, it can create a host of other problems.  Stress is often the most apparent result.  Stress leads to burnout and eventually will lead to seeking “escape” and then you’re right back where you started.  Workaholism also causes you to spend time working instead of time with family, exercising, and connecting with your support system.

Sports

Watching professional sports is often fun entertainment.   Some of my best memories are going to Chicago Cubs games at Wrigley Field with my dad and brother.  But it can become obsessive.  Many men know all the stats of their favorite player on their favorite team but couldn’t tell you the names of their kid’s friends.  They’ll spend hours glued to the T.V. on Sunday afternoon but “can’t find the time” to read their Bible.  Beware that you don’t use sports as a distraction in the same way you used porn as a distraction.

Alcohol

Alcohol is a drug addiction just like porn is a drug addiction.  You relied on porn to get you through the day and to help you sleep at night.  Don’t replace that with relying on alcohol to help you function.  While it’s not always a bad thing to enjoy a nice cold beer after a long day or a glass of whiskey with a nice cigar, be careful that it doesn’t turn into a crutch.  

This is one I have struggled with.  Porn used to be my go-to stress reliever, and for a while, I simply replaced it with alcohol.  I’d go to booze to help “numb” the pain while doing nothing to actually treat the pain.  

Alcohol addiction can be just as devastating as porn addiction.  Make sure you check your blindside to keep it from becoming a problem.

Food

Food can become a major addiction as well.  And it can go two ways.  Men often overeat and indulge in junk food to make themselves feel better.  The joy that you get from a tasty meal feels great… until it doesn’t.  It’s just like porn addiction.  We do it to feel better, then feel bad for doing it, so we do it again to feel better and on and on we go.  Don’t let a junk food cycle replace a porn addiction cycle.

On the flip side, many become obsessed over eating healthy and avoiding food to the point that becomes a problem as well.  Obviously, food is essential, but don’t let it become another addiction.  

Video Games

I’ve never really been a gamer.  The only console I’ve ever owned was a Playstation 2 that I got for my 12th birthday.  I know, I totally just aged myself with that one.  I know far too many men who are addicted to video games.  I’ve said before, “Not all porn addicts are video game addicts, but most video game addicts are porn addicts.”

Video games give you the same false sense of accomplishment and dopamine release that porn does.  Instead of “one more video”, it becomes “one more game”.  Too often, video games become an escape and distraction from the problems of life just like porn is.

They also create a dopamine deficit.  When gaming, you’re getting a constant barrage of dopamine with every “kill” in the game.  After playing, your brain is craving more and more dopamine.  So now you have to find a way to give yourself a boost.  What’s the easiest way to get a huge rush of dopamine?  You guessed it.  Porn.  

Beware of the danger video games can have on porn addiction recovery. 

How do I avoid addiction substitution?

This is the big question.  You understand you need to be careful not simply “replace” your porn addiction.  But how do you keep that from happening?

The key to lasting freedom from addiction is to treat the root problem.  Every addiction works the same.  We use our drug of choice to cover up or escape from negativity in our lives that we don’t want to or are unable to face.  

You have to treat the cause and not the symptom.

Dig deep to discover what’s really beneath your addiction.  Is it a fear of rejection?  Is it past abuse? Is it depression and anxiety?

Lasting recovery requires figuring out what that core emotional trigger is, then learning to process that pain or cope with that experience.  Once you have the power to face the thing you’ve been trying to cover up or escape from, it no longer has control over you.  Learning to process that pain in a healthy way removes the need to use our addiction to avoid it.  

This is what keeps us from bouncing from one addiction to the next and also provides lasting freedom and recovery.

So dig deep, find your strength, and face your demons.

This is the ONLY way to break the bonds of addiction.  It’s the only way to avoid replacing porn addiction with another negative behavior.  

The goal is lasting recovery, redemption, and renewal.  In order to live in freedom, you have to avoid addiction substitution.


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

What Do I Do If I Relapse?

So you “messed up”???

Feeling pretty terrible, I bet.

Feel like you threw away all those days of success?

Feel like you’re starting all over again?

It’s normal to feel lousy after a relapse, but a relapse doesn’t have to turn into a disaster. 

Relapses are inevitable. 

They’re going to happen. No one has EVER quit porn cold turkey.  If someone says they quit cold turkey, they’re either lying or God performed a miracle.  They’re probably lying.  

There is no quick fix for porn addiction.  It’s not something that you can just “stop”.  It has such a deep hold on our hearts and brains that it makes it not only incredibly difficult to find recovery but makes relapses all but inevitable. 

Relapses will happen.  But they don’t have to derail you.   Once you understand this, you can even plan for them and be prepared for when the unexpected happens.

Relapses do not mean you have to “start over”

Let’s say you made it two weeks without looking at porn or masturbating.  That’s great!

Then you relapsed.  Not so great.

You may feel like you threw away all those good days or it was all wasted.

No, they’re not.  Those are 14 straight days of success.   You won the battle over addiction 14 days out of 15.  That’s a .933 batting average.  Pretty damn good.  

You’re still winning far more than you’re losing.  Relapses are reset, but you’re not starting back at square one.  They’re a setback, sure, but they don’t have to be catastrophic.  

Consider a small relapse a speed bump in the road to recovery.

Remember, two steps forward, one step back, is still moving forward.  You’re trending upwards.  Keep going.

It’s ok to feel bad about a relapse.

In fact, you should feel bad.  That means you’re convicted that what you’re doing is wrong.  If you didn’t feel bad, what’s keeping you from doing it again and again?

But instead of allowing that shame to fester, use it to drive you to keep fighting and do better next time.

Where relapses become dangerous is when they multiply.  You have to avoid allowing once slip up to become several.  Often we have the thought, “Well, I already messed up, so what’s the hurt in doing it again?”

It’s in these small mental battles where the victory over addiction is won.  It’s so easy to spin out of control after a relapse, you need to be aware and right the ship immediately after it happens.  Don’t let the negative feelings push you back into the shame cycle of feeling bad, using porn to feel better, then feeling worse all over again. 

How do you keep this from happening?

Learn from your relapses

I often say that it’s never truly a failure if you learn from it.

So when a relapse happens, take some time for self-reflection to analyze what went wrong.

This is where journaling is HUGE in recovery.    After a relapse, write down what happened.  Where were you? What time of the day was it?  What were you feeling prior? Anger? Loneliness? Rejected?

You need to retrace your steps and find out where things went off the rails.  Was there a point where you could have stopped?  Was there something you could have done to avoid looking at porn?

Learning from relapses will help you to identify triggers, learn how to respond to them, and make better decisions the next time you’re in the same situation.

Finding long lasting recovery requires this principle:

STOP focusing on how many times you failed and START focusing on how many times you were victorious.

You have to stop beating yourself up every time you make a mistake.  Even if you slipped up once this week, that’s still winning 6 times out of 7.  

CELEBRATE THAT!

You must shift your focus from the negative to the positive and celebrate every win.

Make it through the day?     That’s a win.

Fight off an urge?     That’s a win.

Finish your daily journaling?     That’s a win.

At the end of the day, record how many wins you had.  You’ll soon start to stack up a lot of wins.  Use them to build momentum in your battle with addiction.

A relapse isn’t a death sentence to recovery.

Confess it

Learn from it

Use it to push you harder.

You’re going to face relapses in your battle with porn and sex addiction.  But you can’t let them stop you.  

In battle, sometimes you lose ground.  But that doesn’t mean you abandon the field.  Get back up, keep fighting, and never, ever give up.


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

When Does A Boy Become A Man?

When does a boy become a man?

What is done in modern society to signify the passage from boyhood to manhood?

Your first beer? Losing your V-card? Getting a driver’s license?  No longer do older men take a younger man under their tutelage and show them how to be a man.  We are taught how to be men by what we see in the media. Men are shown as the bumbling fool in T.V. shows that forgets his wife’s birthday, or doesn’t know what cold medicine to take, or how to take care of their own children.  How often have you heard someone ask a man how he’s going to survive with the kids by himself when his wife is away?  

This has happened because the older men have not taught the younger boys how to be men. People may say, “Oh kids today…” followed by some complaint about the next generation.  Well, they don’t know because they weren’t taught!  

There are far too many 13-year-old boys trapped in 35-year-old bodies because no one ever showed them how to become a man.

Robert Bly, in his excellent book on manhood, Iron John, writes, 

“Men’s clubs and societies have steadily disappeared.  Grandfathers live in Phoenix or the old people’s home, and many boys experience only the companionship of other boys their age.  Only men can initiate men. Only men can change the boy to a man. Initiators say that boys need a second birth, this time a birth from men.”

Boys need to be taught how to be men. 

Then they need to teach the next generation of boys what they learned.  This is done through initiation.  

What do you think of when you hear the word initiation?  

You probably think of a pledge being initiated into a college fraternity through hazing, or a weird initiation ritual that some secret society performed in a movie where everyone drinks blood out of a skull.  But initiation is so much more than that. And we’ve lost it in modern society. 

In generations past, boys were initiated by their fathers.  They studied with him in an apprenticeship until given the reigns to the family business.  Often they were forced to take over the breadwinner role at a young age when fathers died young.   Other boys were sent off to the military and came out of boot camp all grown up. Native American tribal male leaders would take a young man away from his mother and take him on a grand hunt or battle.  He would prove himself and come back a man ready to take on the role required of him.  

We have gotten away from all these things.  Men crave initiation. They need to know they’ve passed from boyhood to manhood.  

John Eldredge writes in Wild At Heart

“Until a man knows he is a man he will forever be trying to prove he is one, while at the same time shrinking from anything that might reveal he is not.”

Men aren’t challenged.  We try to come up with ways to prove we are a man or “manly”.  But being able to pound down beers doesn’t make you a man. Winning a fight doesn’t make you a man.  Having a beard doesn’t prove you’re a man. Even fathering a child doesn’t make you a man.  

What makes a man? 

Being a leader makes you a man.  Taking responsibility for your actions makes you a man.  Providing for those who rely on you makes you a man. Protecting them makes you a man.  And being an example to others makes you a man. 

There are a few initiations that are still in place.  An example from my personal life is Freemasonry. I went through an initiation into the fraternity.  No, it didn’t involve goats or blood sacrifices or anything like that. It involved another man mentoring me, showing me the way.  Then I went through an initiation that many good men have gone through before me. I came out a better man. Now I have a brotherhood of men that I can rely on.  That will support me and guide me. One of the mottos of Freemasonry is to “Take good men and make them better.” That’s exactly what men need today.  

Christian men especially need other good men to guide them.  To show them how to be leaders and strong men. We need to live out Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  Older, wiser, learned men, need to take younger men, especially younger believers and mentor them. They need to show them the Biblical role of men.  

Jesus himself went through an initiation: his 40 days in the wilderness is where this site gets its name from.  He spent 40 days in the wild without food. He was tested physically and tempted by the devil. He was tested emotionally by being offered all power and authority over the kingdoms of the world.  And he was tempted spiritually by being asked to put God to the test. Through all these things he proved himself worthy. Remember he was the son of God, but he was also fully man. He had to go through that time of trial and come out ready to take on the role he was destined for.  

That’s what I’m trying to accomplish with “Into The Wilderness”  We need to go through a period of testing, to face ourselves in the mirror and prove to ourselves that we are men.  Men need to be taught by other men, then put to the test. Initiation isn’t meant to be punishment or hazing. It doesn’t need to be ritualistic.  But it does need to happen. There needs to be a point in every male’s life where he KNOWS he’s a man.  

What was that moment for you? Or what WILL that moment be for you? For your son?

A boy becomes a man when another man shows him how to be one.


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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Success! You're on the list.

I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

The New Drug Epidemic

We have a major drug epidemic in the world right now.

No, it’s not opioids. (Although this is a major problem)

It’s not crack

It’s not meth

It’s not weed. 

In fact, you can’t even buy this drug on the streets.  

Why?  Because you produce it inside your own body. 

It is Dopamine.

The world is completely addicted to dopamine and not enough people are talking about it.

Dopamine is today what crack was in the 80s.

Before we go any further you may ask, “What is dopamine?”

Dopamine is a hormone that acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain.  It’s a chemical that your body produces in the hypothalamus that sends messages from one brain cell to another.  Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that controls how we feel pleasure.  If you do something pleasurable, dopamine is released.  

You might think, “isn’t this a good thing?”

Yes, most of the time.  But the problem is that we get way too much of it.  Whereas our ancestors got a shot of dopamine when they got the kill or accomplished something physical, our modern brains have learned to get it from artificial things.  It used to be the reward center for doing the things we needed to do as men to survive.  Now it’s used as a quick hit to feel better.

We get a rush of dopamine when we do something we like, and like any drug, we want more. When you repeat a particular behavior that releases dopamine, your brain actually creates new “neural pathways” to get you there faster.  It creates a shortcut.  Eventually, you need more and more dopamine to receive the same feeling of pleasure. 

This is what causes addiction.  Your brain literally rewires itself to demand whatever stimulus gives you that dopamine release. 

This is what I like to call the “Dopamine Delivery System” 

The Dopamine Delivery System is whatever you use to get your rush of dopamine on demand. If you’re like me, your dopamine delivery system is porn.  Porn gives you a HUGE rush of dopamine and a host of other hormones.  It makes you feel good, so you want to do it over and over.  

For many men, they learned this at a young age.  They discovered that anytime they faced something negative in life, they could go to porn and get a big dump of dopamine to make themselves feel better or to escape.

It becomes self-medication.  Instead of dealing with whatever emotional wound is causing the problem, you go to porn to give you a shortcut to feeling better through the dopamine release.

The addiction becomes to the dopamine release, not to the porn itself.  

The porn is just the dopamine delivery system.  

But like any drug, you eventually build up a tolerance.  You need more and more dopamine to achieve the same effect.  

Here’s where the difference between drug addiction and porn delivered dopamine addiction comes in.  With addictions such as alcohol and hard drugs, you simply crave more.  But with porn addiction, you crave different.  An alcoholic just pounds more and more vodka.  But a porn addict doesn’t watch the same video over and over again.  He’s constantly looking for something different; something new and novel.  This is why porn addiction often escalates into for fetish style porn and eventually into webcams, hookups, etc.

But porn is not the only dopamine delivery system modern men are addicted to.  Many are addicted to the ping of a new text message and the little red notification icon next to your Twitter or Facebook app. You’re addicted to one more episode to Netflix.  You’re addicted to the dopamine from winning your video game.  You’re addicted to the feeling good food gives you.  

All these things drop huge amounts of dopamine and leave us wanting more and more and more.

Modern society has created the idea that we must have a screen in front of us at all times.  

Because of this, we’ve become addicted to the dopamine release that they give us.  Wherever it’s porn, video games, social media, Netflix, or something else, we constantly crave more and more to make us feel good and relax.

It creates this vicious cycle of needing dopamine to feel better, getting a huge rush of it, then coming down off the high, (or in the case of porn, feeling shame) then needing it once more to feel better again.

What does this addictive cycle cause?

Isolation, Lethargy, Apathy, Depression, and more.  You get so hooked on the dopamine that normal life doesn’t do it for you anymore.

This is why men who watch a lot of porn end up with erectile dysfunction.  They’ve trained their brains to only respond to the stimuli that release dopamine.  Eventually, a real woman doesn’t get them aroused anymore.

It’s the same with the other dopamine delivery systems.  You get so hooked on the artificial dopamine stimuli, that real-life stimuli no longer excite you such as going out with friends, accomplishing goals, and doing things that you used to enjoy.

So how do we fix it?  

You need to rewire your brain and remove or drastically reduce those dopamine delivery systems from your life.  Once you spend time away from the dopamine stimuli, you’ll learn your mind becomes clearer, you start to enjoy life again and you get excited about things you enjoy.

I recommend taking a tech sabbath each week.  Dedicate one whole day to avoiding all electronics and “screens”.  I call mine “Screenless Sunday.”  I’ve found I connect better with my family, I accomplish much more, and I’m much less likely to be tempted.

Modern society has become all about consuming, consuming, consuming; so much so that men everywhere are overwhelmingly addicted to dopamine.  

It’s an epidemic that is getting worse and it’s having devastating effects on our society and our health.

You must learn to control your dopamine, or it will control you.

It’s time we fought back against this growing drug epidemic.  


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

I Just Don’t Have Time

How often do you catch yourself saying, “I just don’t have time” or “I really wish I had more time”?

Here’s some hard truth for you.

You have the time, you just waste it.

We all want time to learn a new skill, exercise, relax, spend time with our families, etc.  Yet how much time do we waste a day?  How much time do you spend mindlessly scrolling social media? Watching Netflix? Sitting on the toilet on your phone? Playing video games?

How much time have you wasted watching porn; searching and searching for the “perfect” video?

Notice how we refer to it as “spending” time.  We don’t “use” time.  We “spend” it like money.  The old phrase, “time is money” has multi-level meaning.  

Time is currency. You should treat it like an investment.  

Where you invest the majority of your time will show what you value most.

Is your time spent on things you value most? Or is it wasted on things you could do without?  You must learn to prioritize your time on the things that are important. 

We all have busy schedules.  I do too.  In fact, I work a full-time job that’s usually close to 50 hours a week, I work a part-time job at my church, and I also have several side hustles including this blog, my coaching, and my watch company, www.woodlandwatchcompany.com

Yet, I still find time to: 

  • -Pray
  • -Journal
  • -Meditate
  • -Read Books
  • -Lift Weights
  • -Write Articles
  • -Read My Bible
  • -Sleep 7-8 Hours
  • -Play With My Kids
  • -Engage on Twitter
  • -Bond With My Wife
  • -Hang Out With  Friends

How do I do it?

Two things:

  1. I have prioritized those things I want to accomplish above everything else.  

I wake up earlier and get things done in the morning.  I used to be a night-owl.  If I saw 5:00 AM it was because I was still up from the night before, not getting up early.  By getting up just an hour earlier I can get my workout in, read my bible, pray, and have a cup of coffee.

Finding time to write for my blog and work on other side projects can be difficult.  What I’ve learned to do is schedule time to work on it. I will plan to work for an hour after dinner and focus solely on that.  I don’t have other tabs open on my computer and put my phone on do not disturb.  It’s amazing how much work you can get done when you remove those little distractions.  

In far too many men’s lives, work, side hustles, and hobbies get all the energy and family is left fighting for the leftover scraps of time.  To ensure I’m spending quality time with my family, I also schedule my time with them.  We schedule regular games nights and I have a weekly coffee date with my daughter.  I also make sure to set aside time for my wife so that we can keep our marriage strong.

One of the best things I ever did was to start to plan out my weeks and days in advance.  It may feel like you’re living life by a calendar, but if you want to ensure you accomplish everything you set out to do, you have to schedule your life.  There are several great calendars and daily planning apps that can help.  

In order to be efficient and achieve your goals, you need to figure out what your priorities are.  Where do you want to “invest” the hours and minutes of your day?  What is important to you.  What are your goals?

  1. I examined my life to find things that are consuming too much time.

I found out I was wasting tons of time scrolling through my phone.  Even well-intentioned engagement with my twitter followers can consume hours in a day.  By quitting porn years ago I probably saved 8-10 hours a week.  I don’t even want to think about all the time wasted on porn and sex in my life.   I cut out almost all T.V.   I don’t binge-watch shows or sit down to watch three-hour sporting events.  If I do watch T.V., it is usually for a family movie night so that it’s not just watching something, it’s spending time with my wife and kids.

Examine your life to discover where time is being wasted and remove those distractions from your life.  Turn off the T.V.  Put down the phone.  Get up earlier.  This will allow you to make the most of the time you “spend”.

We all have the same 24 hours each day.  Learning to make the best use of your time is the difference between achieving your goals and feeling like you never get anything done.


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Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

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Success! You're on the list.

I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

My Turning Point

When discussing my history with porn and sex addiction and my subsequent recovery, I’m often asked what my turning point was.  

What was the catalyst to change? What made me finally turn my life around?

I cannot say that it was a singular moment that sparked the change in my life from being addicted to seeking recovery.  It certainly wasn’t a Hollywood style “I’ve seen the light” experience or anything like that.  But there was an event that led to the start of God changing my heart.  

Here’s the story. 

For almost ten years, I had two very good friends with whom I was incredibly close.   We were the type of friends people would call a “Bromance”.  They had walk-in privileges at my house and I did at theirs.   I was known as “Uncle Timmy” to their kids.  Our families vacationed together and we were all but inseparable.  These two guys had been my support and my accountability partners through my years of addiction.  They would check up on me and encourage me to keep trying to get better.  One would give me tough love and the other would support and encourage me.  

But throughout my addiction, I lied to them just like I lied to everyone else.  When I would get caught, either by my wife or by them, I would give this heartfelt apology and say I was determined to get better.  I would say all the right things to talk my way out of it.  I talked to them and manipulated our friendship just like I did with my wife.

Until the last time I got caught.

Are you ready for some real honest disclosure here?

A girl I had been texting (sexting would be a better description) screenshot our conversations and sent them to my wife.  My wife then forwarded them on to my two friends.

My wife was obviously devastated.  She thought I had been doing so well with avoiding porn and seeking out other relationships.  It was all a ruse.  

My friends too saw that I had duped them.  At that point, they gave up on me.  They washed their hands of me and cut off all ties with me.  I haven’t spoken to either since.  

On one hand, it hurt.  I lost my best friends when I needed them most.  At that point, I felt like the loneliest person in the world.  But on the other hand, I can’t really blame them.  I had lied to them and manipulated them for years.  

It was this event that woke me up and was the turning point in finally facing my addiction and getting serious help.

Looking back on it, it breaks my heart.  It wasn’t all the damage I caused to my family and all the pain I’d caused my wife that got me to change, it was losing these friends that woke me up.  It was losing my drinking buddies, my golf partners, and my hang out friends that led to change.

That was eye-opening to me.  The damage I did to my marriage should have woken me up.  The guilt and shame should have woken me up.  The years of depression, anxiety, lies, and cover-up should have woken me up.  It didn’t.

But, I thank the Lord every day that this happened.  Because without having consequences for my actions, without losing something tangible, I probably would have continued living the sinful life I was living.  

After this, I started getting serious help and guidance for my addiction.  I realized I couldn’t keep trying to fight this battle alone.  I had hoped this problem would just go away and no one would ever know my secrets.  But it doesn’t work that way.  

I received great help from some mentors, pastors, and counselors.  I began to understand WHY I was addicted.  It wasn’t that I just had a higher sex drive or was a pervert.  It was because I was seeking something through porn.  I wasn’t seeking sex.  I was seeking acceptance, love, purpose, and fulfillment.  I was just looking in all the wrong places.  

I learned that I had a fear of rejection, a fear of not being good enough, and fear of losing control.  I used porn and sex to escape from those negative feelings.  Sex was a drug.  My addiction was self-medication to treat those inner emotional wounds instead of finding healthy ways to cope with and process them.  

Once I dealt with those core issues causing my addiction, I started to find freedom.  I stopped searching for fulfillment through sex and sought it through living for God.  Instead of masking my pain and trying to escape it, I found peace through healing.  I confessed who I truly was and found grace through God and forgiveness from my family.  My wife and I were able to repair our marriage, restore trust, and rebuild our lives.

In our individual battles with addiction, we all need a turning point.  

We need to hit rock bottom.  We need an awakening.  I didn’t provide it.  God did.  He put those two men in my life for that purpose.  They were my “Nathan” from 2 Samuel 12 in the story of David and Bathsheba.  

What was your turning point? 

Was there a specific event that you can refer to as the moment you decided to change?  What led you to seek redemption?  What unique circumstances did God use to finally speak to you?

At some point, we all turn from the path we’re traveling on and go down the road towards redemption and recovery.  That moment should be celebrated; no matter how long it took you to get there.  

I’m thankful for my turning point. It has led to God opening many other doors for me, including this blog and coaching.

Without it, I would still be held captive by addiction.  But now I’m free.  And you can find freedom too.  

Feel free to contact me if you’ve reached your turning point.  I’m more than willing to help you through one-on-one coaching or simply through a quick chat or word of advice.  There is information below on how to reach me.

God has a turning point planned for all of us.  But it’s up to us to steer the wheel.  


Subscribe to my Email List for my free eBook!

Sign up for my email list and receive a free copy of my eBook, Power Over Porn: 7 Habits To Crush Temptation.  Implementing these daily habits into my life gave me the strength, courage, and determination to fight back and finally defeat my 15+ year Porn Addiction, and they can do the same for you!

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

I Offer One-On-One Coaching

If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.