Cleaning Up My Own Mess

Throughout my addiction, I always tried to deflect blame for my actions. 

I would blame my acting out on stress and anxiety.  I would blame my wife for the slightest errors and use them as justification for my actions.  I would blame God for making me this way.  I would blame society for being so sexualized.

But it took a major life event for me to realize the truth.

The mess I’m in is MY fault. 

While there are certain things that could explain my behavior, only I was responsible for my behavior.  


I had to take a good long look in the mirror and admit to myself who I was and what I was doing.  That was hard to do.  I’m a proud, confident guy.  Admitting weakness is tough.  Admitting failure was difficult.

So many others had tried to tell me I was on a self destructive path, but I didn’t listen.

The hardest person to convince to change is yourself.

But once I realized that I was responsible for my addiction, I also realized that I was responsible for my recovery.  If I got myself into this mess, then I also possessed the power to get out of it.

I had to stop wishing I would be free from addiction and start making the changes to get free.  I had to stop hoping I would get better and start planning how to do it.

Once I put my mind to change and put the pieces in place, I started finding success in my battle.  I stopped blaming everyone else for actions and took responsibility myself.  Instead of trying to paint the picture of the perfect life, I opened up about my struggles and got the help I needed.  

In order to find freedom, you have to realize this:

The mess you’re in is YOUR fault. The solution is also YOUR responsibility.

So take that long look in the mirror and admit to yourself that you, and only you, are responsible for where you’re at in life.  It may be cliche’, but the first step is always to admit that you have a problem.  The second step is to realize that you also have the power to overcome the problem within you.  

You may not think you’re strong enough.  You may not think you can do it.  And you do definitely need help.  You cannot win this battle alone.  You need support, encouragement, accountability and the love of forgiveness of God.  But you have it in you to change.  It may take some digging, but deep down that strength is in there.

Take responsibility for your actions and take responsibility for making the changes you need to make to find freedom.


It’s your mess.  It’s time you cleaned it up.


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