Where did you first learn about sex?
Did you get the birds and the bees talk from your parents? Did you learn about it in health class at school? Maybe an older sibling told you what it was?
Or, like many men, including myself, you weren’t taught about sex at all and you learned about sex from watching porn. No wonder you ended up addicted to it and have a distorted view of what sex should be.
We cannot fail to teach our children and other young men about sex.
Let’s face it, they’re going to learn about sex whether you like it or not. Chances are, they’re going to learn about it before you’re ready to talk to talk to them about it. Kids today are bombarded with sexual innuendo and imagery everywhere they look. It’s discussed openly in school, they see it on social media, and it’s all over movies and tv.
If your kids are going to learn about sex, shouldn’t it be from you?
Yet, generation after generation we have failed to adequately educate our children about sex. The results have been disastrous.
Instead of parents teaching their own children about sex and what a healthy sex life is, they’ve left that chore up to the schools and the entertainment industry.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want some “gender fluid” YouTuber teaching my kids about sex.
Most parents don’t want to talk about it because it’s awkward. I get it. It is awkward. But it’s going to be even more awkward if your kid ends up with a warped view of sex, is addicted to porn, or is hooking up with people right and left.
There has been no place that has failed more in the education of what sex is and should be than the church.
The church has always taught, rightfully so, that sex is reserved for the covenant of marriage. They have encouraged abstinence and preached the virtues of remaining pure until marriage.
The problem is, that’s all they’ve taught.
There is nothing wrong with preaching abstinence, but it cannot stop there.
This failure of both parents and the church to talk about sex has led to many of the problems modern men deal with in regards to porn and sexual relationships.
They were led to believe that sex is a “shameful” thing when it is a beautiful thing. Then they discover sex through porn and hookups and feel like they’ve been lied to.
Until we as Christians decide to actually start talking about sex in ways other than “Don’t Do It”, men will continue to be addicted to porn and sex.
We must be unafraid to talk about sex. We must teach what a healthy sex life looks like. We must teach that there is more to intimacy than sexual intimacy. Sex is a part of intimacy, but it is not intimacy alone.
We have to teach our youth God’s design for sex and marriage. Right now, all they hear is “Wait until marriage” and “pre-marital sex is sin”. While true, it makes sex seem dirty or wrong. It makes it appear that Christians are nothing but a bunch of prudes.
The truth is God wants us to have healthy sex lives. He wants us to “be fruitful and multiply.” The Bible also doesn’t just reserve sex for procreation. Sex is supposed to be pleasureable.
Read the book of Song of Songs. The back and forth between the husband and wife could make a sailor blush. But that’s what a healthy sexual relationship is supposed to look like. It’s an intimate, loving, beautiful experience to be shared by a man and wife.
Yet, in the well-intentioned interest of teaching about abstinence, too often we have thrown the baby out with bath water and failed to teach our youth anything else about sex.
I firmly believe this is why many young men have become addicted to porn. We must do a better job teaching our children about sex, or this devastating trend will continue.
My mission is to help men fight and overcome porn and sex addiction. But it would be better for them never to become addicted in the first place!
We do this by talking to our children and young men about sex and teach them what a healthy sex life looks like.
Don’t be afraid to talk about sex.
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