There’s a lab experiment often told, where a frog is placed in water heating at the rate of .0036 of a degree Fahrenheit per second and, although it never moves, at the end of two and a half hours, the frog is found to be dead. The explanation is that the water is heated so gradually that the frog never becomes aware of the rising temperature and is boiled to death without a struggle. If you were to drop him suddenly into hot water, he would splash it all over the place and probably be able to jump out.
Do you ever feel like this when considering your porn addiction?
Do you ever look back and think, “How did I get here?”
You started out thinking you were ok. That “just a little won’t hurt.” Then before you know it, you’re in so deep you don’t even recognize yourself.
I know exactly how that feels.
What started as a teenage boy being curious, turned into a grown man with a full blown sex addiction. If you had told me at 15 what I’d be doing at 29, I’d have jumped out of that hot water real quick!
But that’s not how porn addiction works. The temperature is slowly turned up until it destroys you and everything you love. But instead of increasing heat, you escalate your behavior. One degree Fahernheit might be one more video. Ten degrees might be subscribing to an OnlyFans instead of just watching PornHub. Then it escalates into hookups, prostitutes, and fetishes which you would have originally found abhorrent.
This is exactly what happened in my life. Over 15 years the temperature kept increasing until I no longer even recognized myself. When I looked in the mirror, I hated myself. How did I let it get this far?
I believed that lie of “a little more won’t hurt.” I believed I would just go one more step and that would be “enough”.
Guess what brother,
“Enough” is never enough.
I kept constantly trying to satisfy myself through more and more. One more video would be “enough.” One more hookup would be “enough”. If only I could try that, it would be “enough.” It never was.
I kept turning up that thermometer hoping the increased warmth would soothe me, but it only kept getting hotter and hotter until it burned me.
Defeating my addiction required being able to recognize when the temperature was increasing. I had to break apart my addiction, learn my triggers and temptations, then have the strength to course correct before it was too late.
This is not an easy thing to do. It’s so easy to give in like we always have.
This is one of the things I teach in my coaching program. We retrace your steps to discover what truly leads to acting out. You may think a hot photo on instagram triggered you, but that was really only the straw that broke the camel’s back. The true cause lays farther back in time. Discovering what that deeper cause is, and learning to deal with it in a healthy way, is how you defeat porn addiction.
Secondly, you have to learn that you will never find satisfaction in physical pleasures. No amount of porn, sex, drugs, booze, food, or anything else will ever be “enough.” They’re a mirage of fulfillment and happiness, but leave you empty and alone.
Only God can fulfill the desires of your heart. Only forgiveness can heal the damage that’s been done. Only through redemption can you fill the hole in your life.
Don’t wait until the water boils you alive. Jump out while you still can.
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If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there. I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track. I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless. I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction. I’d love for you to be the next success story!