Finding Solitude

Sometimes, you just need to be alone.

We all need time by ourselves to relax, to clear our mind and process our thoughts.

Dealing with the daily hustle and bustle of life can make your mind feel overwhelmed and exhausted.  You might be dealing with stress from work or with the ups and downs of parenting. All these things lead to brain fog and anxiety which in turn can lead you to act out in unhealthy ways.  

I know I was always much more likely to act on my sexual addiction when I was overwhelmed and felt like my brain was going to explode.

We need to find solitude.

We should take the time, each day if possible, to spend some time alone in a quiet place. 

A perfect example to follow is Jesus.

The Bible recounts many times where Jesus “went away by himself”. Even the Son of God needed time away from the disciples and the crowds to clear His mind and pray. 

He spent a whole night alone praying in Luke 6 before choosing his disciples.  In Matthew 14, He went away to grieve after learning of the death of John the Baptist. Prior to his arrest, He went alone to pray in the Garden of Gethsemane.  Luke 5:16 tells us that he often “withdrew to lonely places and prayed

Having time alone without any noise or distractions has become rare in modern society.  Even in the car we almost always have the radio on. When working out or jogging there’s usually music or a podcast blaring in our ears.  The TV is on the in the background while doing household chores. Rarely do we ever just sit in silence.  

Yet, finding solitude is one of the best habits you can develop.  I know it may be hard with kids in the house and a busy schedule, but the benefits of finding that time are incredible.  Now that we all have some extra time during the quarantine, it’s a great opportunity to develop new habits. Make finding solitude a priority.  

I have worked my time of solitude into my nightly routine.  Before going into my solitude, I do whatever I need to on my phone/computer first.  I set an alarm, answer any messages, etc. Because after my time of solitude, I do not look at my phone again until morning.  Once my mind is clear, I keep it clear.

This is a perfect time to do your daily Bible reading, Prayer, Meditation, and Journaling.

Jesus told us during His Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6:6, “When you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private.”

The picture above is the space I created a few years ago for my quiet time.  Some people call it a “prayer closet”; a concept made famous by the movie War Room.  I converted a small walk-in closet into a small place I can go away and be alone.  It’s in the basement so it’s quiet. There’s nothing in there besides a chair, a small table, my bible, my journal, and a cross I hung on the wall.  There are no distractions. It’s my quiet place.

Once I’m settled in, here is my routine.

-A few minutes of deep diaphragmatic breathing exercises

-Read the passage of Scripture I’m currently going through

-Write my thoughts out in my journal

-Prayer

I’m usually in there no more than ten to fifteen minutes.  It doesn’t need to be a long time. But just enough time to decompress and talk with God. Establishing this routine has worked wonders in my life.  I sleep much better. I’m more relaxed. I’m not consuming all that blue light from my phone before bed. And I spend quality time with God.  

As I was often tempted to act out late at night, this routine has taken away that opportunity for temptation to sneak in.  But you can take your time in solitude whenever it works for you. Some people do it in the morning and enjoy starting their day with quiet time.  Others do it whenever they have a few free minutes. The time of day doesn’t really matter, what matters is you’re finding time to get away, get alone, and find solitude.

We all need to get away from the noise, turn off the distractions, spend time with God, and clear our mind.  The best way is to find solitude.


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If at any point you feel like you need a brother to come alongside you and support you, I’ll be there.  I’d be happy to get on a call with you to provide personal guidance to create a plan to fight your addiction and accountability to keep you on track.  I’ve already helped dozens of men overcome their addictions; all who thought they were helpless.  I’ve discovered that every battle with porn shares the same few threads that, once unraveled, release you from the chains of addiction.  I’d love for you to be the next success story!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at timothy@intothewildernessblog.com or Direct Message me on Twitter if one-on-one coaching could help in your battle to live Porn Free.

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