Stop Touching Yourself!

Alright guys.  It’s time for a tough talk.  

The real problem with Porn Addiction isn’t Porn.

It’s Masturbation.

STOP TOUCHING YOURSELF!

When you’re addicted to Porn/Masturbation/Orgasm (PMO), what you’re really addicted to is dopamine. There is nothing inherently addictive about porn itself.  It’s not a drug.  it’s not a chemical.  It has no addictive qualities in and of itself.  But watching it does.

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter released in your brain you feel pleasure. It’s what makes you “feel” pleasure in the first place.  Dopamine is released by the truckload when you PMO.  However, there is way more dopamine released upon orgasm than there is upon only viewing porn. 

I’ve coached and worked with dozens and dozens of men.  MAYBE 1 or 2 admitted to watching porn without the physical act of masturbating.  Almost every man I’ve worked with masturbated when they watched porn.

Most men aren’t addicted to porn. They’re addicted to masturbating.

Men are addicted to the feeling of pleasure released at orgasm.  That drive for that feeling is an inherent part of masculinity.  It’s the drive to procreate and extend your bloodline.  That feeling is the reward for being the provider, protector, and procreator.

Masturbation is a shortcut to that reward.  Instead of being a man and achieving that reward by achieving peak masculinity and finding a woman who desires you, you shortchange it by jerking off.

I get it.  It’s easy.  It feels good.  

But you’re not accomplishing anything.   You’re escaping.  

When I coach men, I ask them why they watch porn and masturbate.  These are normal answers I receive:

-Stress
-Anxiety
-Work
-Unhappy with life
-Marriage sucks

By admission, they use PMO to escape their problems.  

Now you know me, I’m about the biggest advocate against porn there is.  But quitting porn is only solving half the problem. 

If you quit watching porn, but you’re still masturbating regularly…

YOU’RE STILL ADDICTED!

You didn’t solve anything.   You just feel a little bit better about yourself because you’re not watching porn.   But in reality, you’re still running away from your problems just like you did when you were watching porn.

The escapism is the same.

The stress release is the same.

The cheap dopamine is the same.

You’ve just removed the major stimulus.  But you’re still addicted to running away.

Now, I won’t deny that masturbation without porn has its benefits.  At least you’re not watching porn.  Right?

True. I’d much rather have a client rub one out quick to release the tension rather than go on a three day porn/masturbation binge.  But it’s not a solution.

It still isn’t solving the underlying problem of WHY you’re addicted in the first place.  It doesn’t explain what you’re running away from.  It doesn’t heal the fill the void you’re trying to fill.  

If you truly want to overcome your addiction,  you have to quit masturbating just as much as you have to quit watching porn.  Quitting porn is actually the easier part.  Not using masturbation to get a cheap shot of dopamine so you “feel better” instead of facing your negative emotions, is a hell of a lot harder.

I see too many people who say they’ll help you quit porn addiction say, “I’ll help you quit porn in ____ days, and you don’t have to NoFap”

Hell, it doesn’t sound like a bad deal.  But it’s not really helping you.

I’m not working with men through one-on-one coaching just to help them quit watching porn.  I’m working with them to HEAL from addiction.

Recovery from addiction is not about breaking bad habits, it’s about healing old wounds.  

If you truly want to overcome porn addiction, masturbation addiction, and sexual addiction, you have to do the deep emotional work of healing what led you there in the first place.

This deep work is hard.

That’s WHY I’m a coach.

You can’t work through all that pain on your own.

I couldn’t.

I needed someone to come alongside me and guide me on my path to freedom.

I needed encouragement, advice, and accountability.

So, if you’re ready to HEAL from porn and masturbation, not just QUIT…

Schedule your first coaching call with me and let’s get started.

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