Why Is Porn Dangerous?

My mission is to help men fight and defeat porn and sex addiction.  As you might imagine, this opens me up to a lot of comments from people, especially on Twitter.

One of the most common responses I get is, “What’s wrong with porn?  It doesn’t hurt anyone.”

Does it?

If you have struggled at all with porn, you know that’s a lie.  Porn hurts a lot of people.  It hurts yourself, your spouse, and your family.   It hurts your relationships and your happiness.  It hurts your health and emotional well-being.  

So, why is porn so dangerous?  What is it about porn addiction that makes it so devastating?

Porn can be hidden

You can hide a porn and sex addiction for years, even decades. We hear all the time of people who have had their secret sex life exposed.  Darkness and addiction can be lurking in the shadows of anyone’s life. 

This is what makes porn addiction so different from other addictions like drugs and alcohol.  Sure, you can hide those addictions for a while, but eventually, they will take a physical toll on your body that you cannot hide.  You can’t look at someone and tell if they’re battling a secret addiction with porn and sex. 

Porn is dangerous because it can remain secret while it slowly destroys you.

Porn causes an escalation of behavior.

Porn is a gateway drug.  Your brain requires more and more to get the same dopamine hit that you’ve created a dependence on.  The difference is, unlike other addictions, you don’t just crave more porn, you crave new and different porn.  You don’t just watch the same video over and over, do you?  No. You’re constantly looking for a new scene, a new girl, a new twist to up the dopamine dose.   

This is how behavior escalates.  Eventually, porn itself isn’t enough and you go to chatrooms or webcam sites.  Then that isn’t enough and you start hooking up with people from Craigslist or Tinder.  Then before you know it, you’re at a sex club or meeting up with a prostitute.  

Porn is dangerous because it creates a desire to do things you once thought reprehensible.

Porn damages your body.

Porn not only can remain secret and can escalate, but it can also do damage to your physical body as well.  Many men are experiencing erectile dysfunction at ages where they should be at their peak vitality.  

Have you noticed more and more advertisements for ED products lately?  Have you noticed how commercials from companies like Roman are marketed?  They’re not marketing to the old men like the Viagra commercials of the past.  They’re marketing to young men.  Men in their 20’s and 30’s.  ED is becoming a huge problem among younger men and it’s because so many young men are addicted to porn.

Porn is also dangerous because unlike other addictions where you ingest or inject the drug into your body, you create the drug yourself.  Dopamine is a naturally occurring hormone that you produce yourself in your brain.  You don’t have to go out and buy it.  You don’t have to steal to get money to get your fix.  It’s right there whenever you need it.  All you have to do is find a way to get a quick dose of it.  

No, you can’t overdose on porn like you can on other drugs.  But that doesn’t mean it can’t destroy you and everything you hold dear.  

Porn damages your soul

Porn may seem like something that’s just quick fun or a release of tension.  But it’s destroying you from the inside out.  The shame cycle it causes leads to depression, anxiety, and can even lead to suicidal thoughts. 

Porn is advertised as a distraction; a quick escape.  But it actually makes the problem you’re trying to escape from worse.  You might look at porn to escape depression, and sure, you do feel good for a short time.  But afterward, you’re right back where you started.  

I’ve worked with so many men who are totally broken by their addiction.  They’ve lost all hope in life.  They lose all drive, ambition, and motivation.  I often use the terms “in chains” and “bondage” to describe porn addiction.  Why?  Because that’s how it feels when you’re addicted to it.  It feels like you’re imprisoned in your own mind.   

All addictions work the same.  They are a destructive behavior you engage in to hide from or escape something that you are unable to cope with or face.  Something happened in your life that was emotionally traumatic to you.  Maybe it was something major like abuse, neglect, or physical trauma.  Or it could be something hiding below the surface like depression, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, or loneliness.   

You use your drug of choice to escape from facing those fears or coping with that trauma.  Whenever you face something in life that causes you to feel those emotions or be reminded of that trauma, you run to your addiction for relief.  But that relief is fleeting and you’re left constantly looking for more while slowly destroying your life from the inside out.

Porn does nothing to solve your emotional problems while at the same time compounds them.  

Porn promises relief and escape but only provides more pain and bondage. 

Porn is not victimless.  People get hurt.  You get hurt physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  Your family gets hurt by your lies and destructive behavior.  

Porn is dangerous.  It should not be treated lightly.  

If you need help, get it now.  

I offer one-on-one coaching for men fighting porn addiction.  We work together to find the root cause of the problem, create a plan to fight back, and establish accountability to keep you on track.  If you feel like one-on-one coaching can help you, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me here or on Twitter.

Porn is dangerous.  But as men, we can fight back and defeat its devastating hold on our lives.

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